Lilia Ootsutsuki - Living amongst Humans
by Truemmerphantom
Summary: - Shall be rewritten -
1. Prologue: Ten minutes old

**Hi there.**

I won't bore you with a ridiculously large opening of author's ramble, so I try to keep this short. I know, Self-inserts are the bane of all authors, but I just couldn't help myself. I haven't seen a work of Fanfiction (yet) where the insert is an Ootsutsuki. As in full-blooded alien-Ootsutsuki. Mini-Kaguya. It is properly not done because It would be plain-old OP as heck if done wrong, buuut...

Well, I am an Idiot. Capital I. And I like to mess around with the sanity of fictional characters.

So, without any further ado and before I'm struck by stray tomatoes... *silently uses Sasuke as a shield*

Here we go.

* * *

 **Warning:** Not entirely serious. Alien-Infant. You have been warned.

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own Kishimoto's stuff. Kishimoto owns Kishimoto's stuff. I had just accidentally flushed it through a toilet. Please don't tell him.

* * *

Earth - Europe - Germany - Lower Saxony - A collapsing building with a mob of angry readers in front of it

I am dead. So, so dead. Not right now, but still so, so dead.

My name doesn't matter. I am a male and a fanfiction writer whose origins lie in the northern part of Germany. My family consists out of parents, grandparents, a brother, a dog, multiple uncles, aunts and cousins yatta, yatta, yatta. I am currently in a make-shift building with my computer and hope that the barricades do their job.

I hadn't updated any of my stories in a while and my readers want my head for it. I don't know how I got tracked down and I'm not interested to actually find out.

A cow flies through the air just outside of my bulletproof glass window. Wind force twelve. A low breeze. One can also see cars floating through the newly created streams courtesy of an ocean's worth of water falling down from the sky. The majority world would call it 'the great flood'. We from the north call it a drizzle.

I have no idea how the mob out there could light up their torches. It is also highly questionable to hold pitchforks up to the sky. Thunderstorm and all.

Anyways, I have a story to write. Or, well, multiple ones to continue.

 _With a snip, the songstress was gone in a flash of light, leaving a brooding, mentally twenty-some years old infant alone on the_ -

 ***Zap***

Aaand my computer starts a revolution against me. Fan-friggin-tastic. Discouraged by the loss of six hours worth of written stuff, I repeatedly slam my forehead onto the keyboard.

I don't even register the suddenly white vision and the absurdly high amount of High Voltage frying my brain.

* * *

I blink. Twice. Trice. More times.

Knowledge. My... brain is overloaded with knowledge.

I am being held by a giant with pupil less, barely lavender and mostly white colored eyes. Bright, pale bluish, glass fiber like, long hair framed both of their white, almost ethereal faces. Perfect, angelic, lipstick-red lips...

... twisted in disgust.

"A failure." two voices, both male and female, emotionlessly stated at the same time.

Something dark opened behind them... _Portal_ , my mind tells me.

I'm thrown through it.

* * *

Okay.

I am currently high up in the sky, far above the clouds and falling. If my estimations are right, I have exactly one minute and fifteen seconds before I end up as a splatter one the ground. It should be enough time to sort out my thoughts and find a way to deny my untimely death... Hopefully.

So, first off: Somewhere along the lines, I died and apparently reincarnated...

As a freakin' alien!

Not just any alien, god(s) no: I became an Ootsutsuki!

Oo-tsu-tsu-ki! Ya know, these ridiculously powerful beings from the 'Naruto'-Manga/Anime/whatever? Kaguya? Most ridiculous godlike being in the Naruto-verse? I haven't seen the Boruto-Movie (Naru!Hina is canon! Cookies for everybody!) and therefore I don't really know how strong Kinshiki and Momoshiki are... Let alone Kaguya herself since I only had basic knowledge from the Wiki regarding her before my brain got electrocuted...

Why am I trying to hold a conversation with a non-existent audience? Ah, yes, because I try to occupy the last seconds of my new life.

Anyways, apparently the Ootsutsuki-parents I had the 'luck' of being their child of were not ones of the patient kind: They practically stomped 'basic' knowledge into my still developing brain since, apparently, they didn't wanted to deal with the whole raising-children-thing and hoped to create a shortcut.

They made one, but weren't satisfied. Damn a-holes!

What had they done? They got a random soul (me) and merged it with the spark of the new life within mama Ootsutsuki. So here I am: A guy inside a female body. Unable to do anything. Falling from the sky because, apparently, the end result (I) was not good enough, for whatever reason.

I am not fond of the results myself, too.

At least they had invested SOME resources (knowledge) into my creation and for me to assimilate... like the anatomy of a generic Ootsutsuki (I have two hearts!) or the basic cultural stuff of the extraterrestrials, ya know...

Apparently throwing unwanted children through random portals is a common occurrence. Damn A-holes. At least I got wrapped into a... pale, lime-green towel.

Moving on, let's continue with the next topic:

Most Ootsutsuki consume chakra instead of solid food. They take 'chakra consumption' quite literal, ya know? Hell, they are basically in a low-level sage-mode all the damn time. Like kids on an eternal sugar-high, only calmer. And more grumpy. And cocky. And antisocial.

What else... They have some ridiculous... Kekkai Genkai..? Bloodlines..? Genetics. Let's go with genetics.

Everyone (who is deep-rooted into the Naruto-verse... heh) knows that the 'three great dojutsu' originate from the Ootsutsuki, the Byakugan being their more or less primary one. Some of them are born with a Rinnegan, some are not, but sometimes somehow still get one. Or three. Don't know how it actually works... I think it has something to do with the 'World Trees' or something like that. That being said, the Ootsutsuki also have a knack for Space-Time-techniques, obviously.

Anyways, they also have naturally absurdly high life spans. For real, some of them lived for over a millennium WITHOUT the extra chakra 'donated' by the 'World Trees'. Probably has something to do with their overdeveloped chakra network...

Speaking of the chakra network: It almost replaces the normal blood network. Heck, the chakra is so condensed that, if I were wounded, it would flow out as a liquid! The second heart is basically responsible for making sure that my chakra properly flows through my body.

So, what else... Every one of the members of the Ootsutsuki-clan can basically use telekinesis as soon as they... are... born...

Like, ya know... They use it to fly around... and stuff?

...

And, apparently, my brain is very, very good at processing thoughts. I have approximately... twenty-one seconds left to find out how to give 'Gravity' a big, fat **NOPE** before I end up as a splatter on the ground.

Alright, I can do this. Hopefully. THEN I can grieve about my lost life and all that stuff.

At least it is the middle of the night, so no one will see me failing miserably... If this planet is actually inhabited.

* * *

 **POV** : Third Person: Hiruzen Sarutobi

It was the twenty-first of December, 3 am in the morning, and the newly reinstated third Hokage had to stifle his yawn in order to continue his fight with all Kage's most dreaded enemy: Paperwork.

His opponent was a persistent one: Whenever the aged man had finished a stack of the white, _tainted_ menace, it would return tenfold. Every. Time. He. Wanted. To. End. The. Day. With each signature, the leader of a military dictatorship felt his soul slowly crumbling away. With each passing second, he felt how his over the centuries trained body slowly crinkled away.

And he could do nothing about it.

 _Academy-curriculum, damage reports, ANBU reports... Why aren't they properly encrypted?_ The God of Shinobi let out a deep sigh and, against his better judgment, stared out of the window of his office. _Damn it, Minato. You're supposed to sit here and do my job."_

The aged man glanced tiredly at the full moon as it hung in the night's sky and took a puff of his pipe. His gaze wandered from rooftops over empty seeming streets to the various construction sites. A smoke-filled sigh escaped his mouth. _Just what exactly happened on that day, Minato?_

The head of the Sarutobi-clan didn't received an answer. Exhaling again, Hiruzen took one last glance of the village he had sworn to protect before facing his nemesis again...

Just in time to witness as something crashed through the roof and impacted with the bane of all Kage, scattering paper everywhere. Only a fracture of a second later, all the hidden ANBU operatives materialized themselves around the new addition of the room.

There, tugged into a pale, lime-green towel of sorts, floated a young...

...

"I am too old for this."

* * *

 **POV** : Back to the kid.

Okay.

I survived. Good. I fell into someone's office. Might be good. I have a strong headache. Nor so good. There are humans staring at me...

What? I'm not a human anymore, so it should be perfectly fine to draw a line.

Four of them wear masks. They look like ninjas of sorts.

Conclusion: This planet is definitely inhabited and I broke into someone's office who is influential enough to hire them... And from the looks of the mess I made while trying to learn telekinesis within a twenty-second-timeframe (gimme some slack!)...

"I am too old for this."

Yep, I broke into the Hokage's office. It also serves as a confirmation that, yes, I was actually reincarnated into the Naruto-verse and thrown through a portal into the elemental nations. Furthermore, I turned gravity off. And I don't even have a name yet. Worship me! Bathe within my radiating awesomeness!

Yea... I am so dead.

So... let's get a good look at the current situation.

I am currently drifting through the air since gravity is not allowed to touch me anymore. From the looks the old man gives me, a baby slowly floating through the air is something no one normally sees within their normal lifespan. Well, there are 'firsts' for everone.

Next up, the security-guards: They are all on edge. ( **Surprise!** ) Especially one of them, the one with the... cat mask? They all look the same to me, so I call them all cats... Well, that one looks more like a crocodile... NO, cats! They are ALL cats!

Somewhere further back, the Hokage - Hiruzen Sarutobi, if my past knowledge of the fictional universe is correct - takes some shots from his pipe and smokes with seemingly no care in the world, but his eyes betrays his irritation. After all, I fell right on top of his desk and scattered all the to-be-signed papers across the room.

What else... Hmm...

Is it normal to make contact with an extraterrestrial being? Hmm... Nah, doesn't really matter. I'll just keep slowly floatin' around, bounce away from the walls, the ceiling, the desk and all that, all the while giggling like the child I am supposed to be. I then just have to look at them with the puppy-dog-eyes no jutsu activated - something EVERY child should be able to do since birth - and all that is left then is to stick someone's finger, nose or ear into my mouth... Or, as an alternative, play headcrab and try to eat their brainzzz...

Braaaiiinzzz...

Wait, that's something only zombies do, right?

On the other hand, I am a zombie... sort of... right?

A reincarnated, soon-to-be ninja-zombie from space! Yea, that sounds exactly like a basic character-outline for a bad piece of fiction. I like it.

Too bad I can't write about it.

Ah, there's an ear! Gimme that ear!

What are ya lookin' at me? I'm a child now! Let me act like one! I have a major case of PTSD to repress!

... Am I still think-talking to invisible persons? Apparently.

"Ho-Hokage-sama, what are we s-supposed to do w-with t-the intruder?" the crocodile-cat had a hard time to stay professional. Tends to happen when one's right ear slowly get's introduced to alien-saliva ( _Eeeaaarzzz_ ). Also, I'm floating at an awkward angle right next to him.

Another person with a bird-cat-mask seemed to be very hard pressed to not burst out in laughter. Even professionally and brutally trained operatives of the black-ops tend to lose their professionalism when they are confronted with overly bizarre situations - in this case an alien infant from space sucking on an operative's ear while giving gravity the finger.

"Hokage-sama, what ha-"

Aaand more people burst into the room... Is that Maito Gai... Might Guy... Brushier Brows-Sensei? Gods, he looks awkward. And... is that Kakashi? What's a Hyuuga doing here? Don't they all have better things to do? Heck, it's dark outside!

They all look at me. I look back.

The Hokage sighed. He dropped his shoulders as he slumped back into his office chair. "As you can see, I'll have to attend another council meeting later on. If you excuse me, I have 'important' documents to sign. Leave the... visitor here for now."

Wow, barely a few minutes old and I already made someone's day really, really miserable. And considering the glare the lone Hyuuga gives me, I'll be dead before the end of the day.

Might as well take a nap.

* * *

 **Author Notes**

* * *

*Silent disposal of the evidence*

So, I hope I didn't failed with my attempt of writing a pathetic death.

I don't really know how I would react to my brain being electrocuted, dying, being reborn into some kind of alien and then thrown through a random rift in Time-Space. My entire thought process would probably freeze simply at an _OH SH*T_ and then I would end as a splatter on the ground. Otherwise... In a world where everyone and everything could kill you with one of his/hers/its lower intestinal winds and I was an extraterrestrial child with psychic powers, I would probably act like written above: Like a cute, cuddly and, most importantly, completely innocent child that sticks everything into the mouth to make everyone uncomfortable.

Well, next up:  
I'll probably introduce the new addition to the Hyuuga clan. One can only guess how the stoic clan would react to an alien-child with their prized Dojutsu. Not to mention Danzo (Danzoo? Danzou? I go with Danzo).

So, other matters:

Did I make the SI already OP by giving her (him... me... whatever) psychic powers and the ability to eat chakra? Probably, but feel free to write what your heart desires. I love criticism, ideas, helpful hands and cookies. Especially cookies.

And yes, I like to pretend that I am insane.

Thank you for reading my ramble. See ya next time.


	2. Leaving a positive impression

And again, just for you:

 **Warning:** Not entirely serious, Alien-Child, Shenanigans, Stuff

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto and all it's characters and what is attached to it belong to Kishimoto. Except the Alien-Child. I made that up.

* * *

December 21, 6:00am - Hokage Office

 **POV:** Third Person: Hiruzen Sarutobi

Hiruzen signed a document. And another. And another. And another. And another...

He just had to give it a quick look and sign it. Everything else was done by itself. The taking and depositing that is.

In front of his desk, a replica of the Shinigami, completely consisting out of unsigned documents, hovered above the ground, emitting an aura of pure despair all the while. It would shift the signed documents to a neat pile with a mere gesture of his _tainted_ claw while simultaneously replacing the paper with an unsigned one.

The professor glared at the culprit for this phenomenon.

Circling him like the moon does the earth, the small intruder from earlier that morning just looked at him, mischief clearly visible in his/her/its lavender, almost white eyes. And even though the little one was defying gravity like he/she/it didn't even knew it existed, no one would even barely consider the option that that little bundle of cloth and meat had something to do with the now literal bane of all Kage.

Hiruzen actually considered to take a picture of the paperwork-Shinigami and send copies of it to all the other major village's Kage. The message would be clear: ' _We share an enemy._ '

The Sandaime had to chuckle and mustered the little intruder once more. The aged man wasn't quite sure if the kid was an he, she or an it, but he favored the second option. The small, heart shaped face, the tiny nose and, well, simply the delicate appearance of the young one were good indicators. Not to mention the ethereal, almost glowing, icy-blue-white skin, the shoulder length, ethereal, crystal like, bright purple hair and the absolutely angelic giggles that periodically escaped the young one's small, slightly pale-greenish lips.

The kid would look like a normal child, if one would overlook the faint sky blue skin color and the fact that her eyebrows were not eyebrows. Other than that... That child would have no problem in finding a partner when he/she/it grew up.

The paperwork-Shinigami handed him another document to sign.

The aged man gave the young one another glance. "You know, this joke is good and all, but if you could actually help me defeating the paperwork-Shinigami in a reliable way, I would be very pleased."

The child just halted his/hers/its movement and gave him a _look._

A second later, the paperwork-Shinigami dissolved and reshaped into a paper-clone of the old Kage... followed by another... and another... and another...

It took seven sculptures of paper until the God of Shinobi began to understand.

Years later, the Raikage, Tsuchikage, Kazekage and Mizukage would receive a picture of the demonic personification of the Bane of all Kage as it was being assaulted by an army of Hokage, created through a forbidden technique, which, at some point, should be known as the signature-move of a certain, whisker-marked blonde.

Sarutobi Hiruzen was free. He would thank the heavens for months afterwards.

* * *

 **POV** : The soon-to-be Ninja-Zombie from Space

So THAT are the handsigns for shadow clones. Perfect! Can't do anything with that yet, but still good to know.

And on a side note: Telekinesis is awe-some!

* * *

7:30am - Council of Konoha

The aged Hokage had left an army of himself behind before scooping me out of the air and held me in a grandfather-like embrace. I must've made myself really, really popular in his eyes.

Be as it may, I am fairly sure that he isn't allowed to keep me. That random Hyuuga that showed up with the mini-Kakashi would have made sure of it. I am _rather_ sure that they will demand me to be incorporated to the clan, Dojutsu and all. I don't know if I will be a long-time-guest or part of the branch- or main family... I might as well end up as a pet. I am not human (anymore) after all.

Well, considering that I have the full attention of EVERY single person in this room (even the representatives of the Nara-clan seem to be interested, with them not sleeping and all...) and a certain crippled war-hawk in the far corner of the meeting room seems to be very put on edge simply by looking at me (xenophobia?)...

Well, I might as well sort some more of my implanted knowledge out. It's not like I can do anything in my current form... except assaulting Hiashi's well kempt... soft... hair... I wonder if it tastes like strawberries...

... Apparently I get more distracted than before. Anyways, let's open the encyclopedia inside my head.

...

Damn it, something must've gone wrong during the upload: I can't find _The Talk_. Not that I want to reproduce myself in my current... condition.

Ah, that looks interesting: _Space-Time-Manipulation and you: How to avoid the destruction of the Universe._ I don't know why that guide was uploaded into my brain (didn't knew I had one), but I'm not complaining. It's the opposite, actually: It's written by Kaguya Ootsutsuki! How awesome is that?

 _Before we begin, here is your first task: Destroy the Universe and guess why it is a bad thing to do. The answer is 42, by the way._

Wow. Just Wow.

 _The basic trick for Space-Time-Manipulation is a simple one: Make it clear to everyone that the laws of physics are your bitches. Proceed from there._

Well, I already gave gravity the finger.

 _Most of the laws in the multiverses can be summed up into the following: And action causes a reaction. For example: If you invert ALL_ _the attracting forces between atoms inside a sun of your choosing, the sun will explode, the planets within its reach will lose their anchor and burn... and the occasional civilization might have to deal with extinction._

Okay.

 _If you want to practice teleporting, there is a very simple trick to it: Try to imagine yourself mating with-_

I'm stopping now. _GODS!_

Have to distract myself...

Wait, how did I got on top of Hiashi's head?

Hmm... must've drifted over to him when the aged man hadn't paid attention... Or he did it on purpose. Anyways, I'm currently facing him upside down. And his hair... so close... Looks so confy...

...

It really taste like strawberries! Best nap-place ever!

Hiashi seems to think otherwise, if his twitching eye is anything to go by. Well, too bad for him.

So... What should I do now? I don't really want to think about this whole 'Reincarnation-thingy' since I am not in the mood for any kind of PTSD... I am traumatized, I am quite sure of it, but that doesn't mean I want to deal with it. Now.

Have to distract myself with something that is NOT Kaguya's X-rated guide... Gods, why? Why does she have THAT fetish? Alone thinking about-

...

Err... I think I puked on top of Hiashi's head... He takes it fairly well, though. Only both of his eyes twitch erratically.

Well, serves him right for abandoning his daughter in the canon-timeline. Yes, I like Hinata. A lot. Deal with it, nonexistent audience.

How do you unlock the Tenseigan again? Implant a Hyuuga's Byakugan into an descendant of Hamura? Or can you alternatively pump chakra of an Ootsutsuki into a Hyuuga and get the same results... Huh... Maybe I can get my own one without that whole implanting-thingy. Hamura got it on his own, after all.

Besides: Hinata with complete control over gravity would definitely be able to kick Neji's butt during the chunin exams. Oh, I have to make sure she gets a pair... And then let her fight against duck-butt.

Oh, I can't wait until she is born! I just know that she will be a potentially awesome sister... If Hiashi lets me near her. Which is doubtful.

How do I know she is not born yet? I have heard the aged man talking to himself. I arrived a few months after the Kyuubi-attack had taken place and it is the twenty-first of December... The day with the year's longest night.

Perfect birthday.

That leaves a few questions though... How am I able to understand Japanese? Is that some alien-thing? A major convenience-thingy all the good and lovely alien-parents hammer into their children's brain before they are even born? I can't make sense out of the Kanji though...

...

Damn, I have to learn them, don't I?

Joy...

"This... thing is a threat to the entirety of Konoha and far too powerful to be owned by a single clan, shared Dojutsu or not!" Huh? Is there some old crippled war-hawk not deceived by my outrageously cute looks? I have to unleash my puppy-dog-eyes onto the public then.

What? If your are being (rightly) accused of being dangerous, make yourself as cute as possible. After all, no one without gaming-background would even entertain the idea that a tiny little fuzz-ball with a gummy hammer would be the character with the highest health pool. And who would come to the conclusion that that thirteen year old girl over there pilots a giant MECH - equipped with rocket launchers, nukes, mini guns, laser swords and whatnot?

No one with intact common sense.

So by making myself cute and cuddly I have a significantly higher chance of survival. It also helps that I am awesome.

... I am so dead.

I am bored again... Should I hum the Attack-on-Titan-theme? Guren No Yumiya? Or Lost in thoughts all alone? I tend more to the second option... After all, I had made an attempt to fully memorize the lyrics... But AoT...

Both options would be creepy, don't get me wrong, but... This is an important choice in my new life!

Screw it, LiTaa it is. I never had the chance to see AoT during my old life... Don't get me wrong, invisible audience, Hiroyuki Sawano is awesome.

It would be pretty troll-ish to sing LiTaa in front of Neji during his 'I-am-fated-to-go-to-the-toilet'-phase.

 _The pat_ _h_ _you walk o_ _n_ _belongs to destin_ _y_ _, just let it flo_ _w_ _~  
All of your jo_ _y_ _and your hat_ _e_ _will fall like the tid_ _e_ _, let it flo_ _w ~_

Even thinking about messing around with characters is awesome.

Anyways, back to the real world... I think I have antagonized the Uchiha-clan... Even though I am still tugged into my pale-lime-green towel, I somehow managed to fly over to their booth and... well, I THINK I had soiled on top of Fugaku's head. His hair stinks.

That being said, I am slowly drifting into Danzo's direction, like the little biohazard I am supposed to be.

At least I am adorable. Probably. Maybe.

Yes, I am in the middle of a tiny identical crisis.

"Care to repeat that? The pup's chakra reserves are HOW high?" GODS, that woman with the eye-patch-dog over there is loud... Inuzuka Tsume, wasn't it?

"Low Jonin-level, not counting environmental and natural chakra... it seems to consume." Hmm, that was Hiashi's voice.

"That... thing is a sage?" Wow, the old war-hawk really doesn't seem to like me. Don't worry, old man, I'll share my adorableness with you... Once I reach you.

"My allies successfully identified the life-form's gender and confirm her status as a female." Was that Shibi? I guess so... Nooo, insects drag me away from the cripple! I can't share my awesomeness with him!

"I don't care if it is a female or the destroyer of worlds: That thing emptied it's bowel on top of my head!" Guess who that was.

The insects lead me back to the aged Kage, who gently takes a (firm) hold on me. "The little girl is also intelligent, or capable, enough to understand our language and has a weird sense of humor, but, other than that, seems to be what she looks like to be: A little, prodigious infant with the ability to defy gravity." What? Me? A prodigy? Thanks, but no thanks.

"My question is now," the Kage continued, "What do we do with her?"

"Execute." Aww, love you too, Danzo.

"T&I." That was... Inoichi, right?

"Breeding stock." What the- Where did the civilians come from?

"Assimilate everything we can get from her." I knew it! I am sooo dead.

"School her in manners." Wow. Hiashi is surprisingly... Never mind, his eyes are still twitching.

"Let her grow up and make her into a Kunoichi. Her ability to fly is a rare tactical advantage." Hmm, that must've been Shikaku.

"I still can't believe that THAT simply fell into your office, Hokage-sama." Hello faceless minor clan head number seven!

"Neither do I, but I already like her." Hiruzen Sarutobi smiled his grandfatherly smile that promised nothing but agony and despair for everyone who opposed him. Perfect grandpa.

"So, what are we now supposed to do with her?" Hiashi had spoken up again. Irritation was clearly noticeable in his voice this time.

Hiruzen's grandfatherly smile became more grandfatherly.

* * *

Hyuuga-compound

So, this is the clan with the stuck-up-nobles. Ya know, the clan filled with people who could use the sticks up their ass for construction work? These people.

The initial meeting with the expecting Hinoka Hyuuga couldn't have been better: She adores me! And she had hit Hiashi multiple times over the head when he called me a demonic child. So, like every child that loved to see his-her father make an ass out of himself and being (verbally) punished for it, I giggled uncontrollably.

I love my new mother.

Anyways, Hiashi holds me now in the traditional 'television-stance': One arm (his left one) stabilizes me in a comfortable position while simultaneously being able to give me the bottle... Not that he has one on his person. At least none intended for me. (Ha! Knew he had a secret daughter complex!) His other arm would be free to do other stuff, like handling the remote for the television.

The 'remote' in this case is an ink brush while the 'television' gets represented by the clan head's own private paperwork-Shinigami.

Am I not just the dream of a daughter for every father out there?

* * *

 **Author Notes**

* * *

Hi there.

As one might guess, I might've overdone it a bit with this chapter... regarding silliness.

I am debating with myself if I should make a tiny time-skip in order to introduce little one year old Hinata or doing something else entirely.

Hiruzen will definitely have a better time now. Definitely enough time to schedule a few training exercises for himself and make a few more visits to our favorite blonde.

How do you like the characterization so far? Did I make it obvious that the little bundle of impending doom does everything she does as a way to distract herself from unwanted thoughts? Did I destroy everyone's initial view of Kaguya?

write what your heart desires! I love criticism. And cocoa milk. And pretending to be insane.

Thank you for reading my ramble.


	3. Changing one's view of the world

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, Fire Emblem, Final Fantasy, Star wars (...) and whatever else I might mention in the future... Only Lilia spawned from my insane mind. (Bad Mind! Bad!)

 **Warning:** Scatterbrained Alien Child, Insanity, Stuff. Don't read this during school, work, a brain surgery... Err, yes, that last one would definitely be bad...

Ages:  
Hinata Hyuuga: 1 Year 6 Months  
Lilia Ootsutsuki: 1 Year 6 Months

* * *

Hyuuga Compound - 21rst of July

Hinata is just the cutest sister you could ask for. She loves Otousan, she loves her Kaachan, she sticks the ear of her Neechan into her mouth... and she loves hugs. And love. And cinnamon rolls.

What? Hinoka Hyuuga is new to that whole parenting-stuff, as is Hiashi. They couldn't have known that the first contact with that celestial awesomeness would lead to an addiction.

Yes, I too fell to that sugary goodness made by mankind. I can't quite remember the following sugar-rush though, but I am sure that I _ran_ on top of the ceiling and walls all the time on that particular week. Normally I am _toddling_ across the ceiling and walls all the time.

What? I don't like the floor. It is evil and wants to squash me! I swear!

Oh, and teething HURTS! Goddamnsonsof- I am SOOO happy I survived that!

Anyways, I finally was able to give myself a name. Yes, you herd right, invisible audience: I. Named. Myself.

Usually, when I name a female character in RPGs or something comparable, I either name them Leya, Lyra, Miriam or Lilia. I am unable to come up with something that doesn't have an 'a' in the name... And since I usually use the first two for twins and add the third one whenever I need an evil, third twin that wants to merge with her sisters to be whole again...

Don't judge me, my head is seriously messed up right now. As it was before my death... probably.

That being said, I decided to be 'Lilia Ootsutsuki' after my third day of... rebirth.

My new parental figures didn't got the note though. Not that there was one in the first place.

When I was five days old, mama Hyuuga started to call me 'Hanabi.' I on the other hand refused to be called by Hinata's future younger sister's name and made it known, for obvious reasons... Well, as good as a five days old infant with psychic powers was able to: Whenever someone called me by that name, _something_ would hit the back of Hiashi's head... When he was nearby, at least. Otherwise, I would hug the ceiling. Eventually, they found out I didn't like the name and gave me a new one.

I refused to be called 'Himawari', too, though.

This process continued over the first two weeks until Hiashi had enough and gave me a sheet of paper: On one side, there was, in Kanji, a big, fat, red **DENIED** written on it, while the other side had the slender, green Kanji of **Accepted** on it. This piece of paper was easily the best gift a reincarnated, extraterrestrial infant with the inability to read Kanji could ask for.

Really now, that piece of paper was the best gift I could hope for.

I traded the knowledge of defeating the paperwork-Shinigami for it. Win-win for everyone.

Well, once Hiashi made a visit to the Hokage-office and 'requested' a scroll for the instructions of the Shadow-clone-technique. Then it would truly be a win-win for everyone.

Anyways, I had a lot of free time (obviously) that I could use to (re-)learn talking and managed to produce... some kind of gibberish at the end of my fourth month after birth.

My first real word was 'no'. The second one was 'older sister', 'oneechan'. I said them out loud in quick succession when Hinata tried to hug me to death at some point during my seventh month. Really now, she was a bit too excited for my own good. And yes, I refer to my younger, adopted sister as 'big sister'.

When I was eight months old, I was finally able to pronounce and share my name. So here I am: Lilia Ootsutsuki, future ninja-zombie from space, addicted to cinnamon rolls and hands-down prodigy. No one knows who or what an Ootsutsuki is, but who cares? I am awesome! Probably... Maybe... No? Aww...

I don't see a reason in hiding my abilities... I am an alien infant, goddamnit. One that flies through the air as if it was the most normal thing in the world. One who knows the trick to deal with paperwork.

Which wannabe powerful antagonist wouldn't target me for that alone?

Also, ninjas. They know everything and want to know everything. So it's best to let them know that I have an... advanced mind, survive that butt-load of additional training and be done with it.

That being said, I already **DENIED** an early entry into the academy. Under no, absolutely **NO** circumstances do I enter the academy at age one! Hell no! Just who do they think I am? Kakashi? Itachi? Kishimoto?

So... yea. I think that was the day at which I decided that the floor is evil and everyone who walked on it constantly lives with the danger to gradually lose their common sense. Naturally, I continued to deny the existence of gravity and crawled across the walls and the ceiling.

I might not be a Jonin right now, but I can at least train my mind in order to prepare for it.

Oh well. I am one and a half years old now. I am addicted to cinnamon rolls, have a minor fit of PTSD when I touch the floor, am regarded as a prodigy and, well... I think I am insane.

About Hinata... Gods, she is adorable! Not the kind of adorable you want to strangle, torture and incinerate, but the kind of adorable you would murder everyone else for if they as much as even THINK about doing the former to her. She is I-have-to-be-protected-adorable, not I-absolutely-have-to-be-murdered-by-you-in-every-way-imaginable-so-you-can-share-your-love-with-me-adorable.

Wow, I am seriously messed up. Is that because I am actively repressing and bottling up my emotions regarding this whole dying- and reincarnating-thing?

Nah.

Well, I change the topic then.

My digestive tract seems to be directly converting the food I eat into chakra. Well, most of it, considering that my... diapers... have to be... changed... regularly. Ugh.

Chakra itself tastes... good, I suppose. I rarely get enough of it on my taste buds to... well, get a taste of it, but when I do... well, the stuff in the air mostly tastes like a sausage. Or a rotten egg. Or pizza. Or chocolate.

Lingering chakra just tastes weird, let's go with that. It's not like I constantly eat it through my mouth though. Far too inconvenient.

Hinata's chakra constantly tastes like cinnamon though. Hmm, cinnamon...

Err, yea... Maybe this isn't a good topic.

Sorting through my implanted knowledge becomes more and more of a nuisance the longer I repress it into the back of my mind, but... Ugh.

Two words: Tentacle Monsters.

Damn it, Kaguya!

So, yea. I pretty much threw that guide into the bottomless depths of my mind.

That other stuff I got from my... extraterrestrial 'parents' seems to be incomplete though. I know that I have two hearts, I know that I can eat chakra and I know that the general Ootsutsuki has a high affinity concerning Time-Space-techniques... And don't get me started with their general lifespan, psychic abilities, symbiotic/parasitic relationships with the world trees and their game-breaking Blood-limits and/or techniques they sometimes develop...

Merging a newborn spirit with a recently deceased one is a game-breaking technique... at least I think so. Orochimaru would have a field day if he found out about that.

And... well... that's about it. Something must have happened during the 'upload' of the outside information... Maybe that's the reason I am a 'failure'...

Doesn't stop me from being (potentially) awesome.

...

"Lilia, come down here."

I look upwards. There, standing upside-down on the evil ground I am watched by my favorite mother of this world. She had her arms crossed and repeatedly taps her index-finger onto her other arm.

Like the mentally over twenty-years old character I am, I answered in the most mature way possible: "I don' wanna!"

"Little one, come down here. The floor won't harm you. I promise." Hinoka had a truly soothing voice. Soothing enough to ensure a long and violent death for everyone who objected.

"Floor is evil! It will eat me!" However, it is a well-known fact that I classify the ground as the more dangerous evil.

"No, it won't. Now come down here. You still have to learn to walk properly." That being said, the Hyuuga matriarch isn't very fond of the fact that she was being outshined by the ground of all things when it came to intimidation.

"I can fly. I don' need to walk." On the other hand, she was my adopted mother, and mothers are far, far more at ease with intimidating their husbands than their children.

"If you don't start to walk properly, your legs won't be trained and if you somehow lose your ability to fly, you will be a sitting duck." That doesn't mean that mothers cannot use their twisted form of common sense to shatter that of their children..

"You mean that, if I don't take any counter-measures against muscle-atrophy, I'll be an easier target for the floor if someone or something disrupts my usage of telekinesis?" In such cases, my view of the world mostly get's a visit from the wrecking ball. Like right now.

Mother simply nodded, clearly ignoring my usage of words a one-and-a-half-year-old girl shouldn't be able to properly pronounce at this age.

So, yea... I gave Gravity the honor of touching my celestial presence and fell into the arms of my adopted mother... still upside down.

Hinoka seemed to allow a small smile to form on her face. However, it soon changed into something unreadable as she made a terrible, terrible mistake...

She sniffed.

Considering that I am a mentally twenty-three old person, having someone changing MY diapers is humiliating. Even if that someone is my new mother.

...

Why is she even doing that herself? I mean... The main-family practically has an army of slaves consisting out of relatives, right? Don't get me wrong, I like that our mother cares about us, but... Wouldn't it be easier to ditch us off at a branch family member?

On the other hand though... I don't think mother would be mother if she did that. She IS a gentle and caring person after all... if you overlook the fact that she is clearly whipping Hiashi in their relationship. Really now, sometimes I am wondering if she has distant familial ties to the Uzumaki-clan.

It would explain her (rare) outbursts of fury if the clan elders tried to do (or had done) something stupid... again.

Like entering me into the academy at age one. Or the proposal about slamming the Caged-Bird-Seal onto my forehead when I was mere three weeks old. Oh, and there were some individuals with rather exotic fetishes.

That last case happened yesterday. An old fossil of an elder I will never bother to learn the name of had vaguely mentioned it under layers of layers of political language (read: polite sounding verbal harassing accented with bribery). Once I translated it inside my head I had a VERY strong urge to puke.

After she caught wind of that, Hinoka reminded everyone about the fact that underneath the kind and warm smile lay an overprotective and ferocious mother-dragon.

No elder dared to voice out any objections or complaints of her educational methods to Hiashi after her display of divine judgment. Ever. Again.

I still can't believe that she is supposed to be a mere civilian. She can be _scary_!

So, yea... long story short: Hinoka is a very kind and caring person and you better let her change your diapers if you don't want to receive punishments even the Kyuubi wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of.

She is awesome.

She had carried me into the garden and sat me onto the floor... _Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic..._

...

"See? The ground won't swallow you."

The floor really isn't going to swallow me. Actually, it is a really polite individual who is more than happy to spare it's nature-chakra with me. And, maybe it is a bit overeager to do so...

In fact, there is sooo much chakra flooding my feet that...

My tummy starts to make funny noises... I don't like it when my tummy starts to make funny noises. Most of the times my tummy starts to make funny noises, I-

It starts to compress itself. It flows up my throat. It is burning. It is cold. It is a liquid. It is nasty. It tastes like a rotten egg.

Coughing. Vomiting. More coughing.

Hinoka scoops me up, patting my back. More coughing. We both watch as the green-red-yellow-brown-blue-black-white fluid rapidly dissolves, leaving absolutely nothing behind...

Vomiting chakra is nasty. And I don't know how to control the input of it.

The floor is not evil. I know that now. It is more akin to that one grandmother that likes to spoil you with so much of her homemade cooking that it starts to come out of your ears. The problem is, you can't simply say 'no' because you aren't able to, the food tastes just really, really good and you don't want to hurt her feelings by doing so. But since the stomach has just only so much room...

Mother and I came to the silent agreeing that we should postpone my proper-walking-lessons for a couple of days... And do it inside the house instead outside in the with-nature-chakra-filled gardens.

Ootsutsuki-biology is weird...

Honestly now: How are some of them able to grow a Rinnegan-eye in each of their hands? Kaguya had hers grow on her forehead after eating that forbidden fruit.

Well, as long as I don't grow horns... Kaguya didn't had them before she ate the fruit... I think...

...

I'm tired.

* * *

 **POV** : Third Person: Hiashi

Sometimes the head of the Hyuuga-clan thought he was a Kage.

Word of the existence of a 'celestial child' with their Kekkei Genkai had spread around like a wildfire. The stoic father wasn't 'quite' sure, but he could have sworn that a civilian member of the council ( _or Danzo... Probably Danzo_ ) might have had spread some rumors around in order to make his life miserable.

He had allowed himself to add a few drops of sarcasm into his thoughts.

So, as a consequence, he got a lot of _letters_... _Letters_ as in _various_ _religious leaders either asking / demanding an audience_ or _flat out accusations of starting a baseless rumor to further strengthen the image of a_ minor _clan_.

Mostly _letters_ from nobles of various standings where filled with the latter kind of content.

None the less, Hiashi had to invest a LOT of time to work through these _letters_ since most of them simply had to be answered properly or else he would risk a negative public image of the clan. So, for the sake of the clan, he sits in front of his desk, piles of piles of piles of _letters_ and actual paperwork in front of him.

The Hyuuga patriarch still had to schedule a meeting with the Sandaime Hokage regarding the instructions of a certain clone technique.

Sure, the memories and the feeling of dread from every clone would all come back to him tenfold, but then he would actually have _some_ spare time he could use for other matters.

Such as teaching his one and a half years old daughter in self-defense (read: fatally injuring the opponents internal organs by touching them with the pinky finger). Hinata is able to walk, so her training should start immediately. It is tradition, it is clan-law... and it is necessary. No member of the main-house would tolerate a _weak_ clan head.

Hiashi's left eye twitched at that thought. _They arranged a marriage between me and my nine years younger wife, saying that it would be most beneficial (for them). Now they are complaining about Hinoka's 'violent' nature when an elder made - dare I think it - a very stupid suggestion concerning our daughter or_ our daughter.

The clan head didn't mind his wife being protective. Not in the least. In fact, he encouraged that behavior, even though it would mean that he was at the mercy of her _'tantrums'_.

She was also very good in detecting of proposals concerning arranged marriages. Three times on each day, she would bring him tea, sneak in a quick kiss, take a look at his desk and sort out the twenty to four-hundred documents concerning THAT topic.

Both of them came to despise these kinds of marriages, even though they came to love and support each other very, very much. The thought of his baby-girl being arranged to someone thirty-six times her current age just didn't sounded right. At. All.

Maybe that was just his biased opinion. _That being said, the elders seemed to have become gradually more insane after the Kyuubi had attacked, and that is saying something._

Hiashi read through another _letter_ and put it onto the _to-be-burned_ -pile and his thoughts drifted to, well, his _daughter_.

Theoretically, she was a long-term guest, but Hinoka had practically adopted her into the main family, much to his silent discomfort. He still didn't knew what to think of her.

On the one hand, she seemed to be frighteningly intelligent for her age, doesn't need much in regards of food thanks to her eating chakra and has access to what appears to a Kekkei Genkai that lets her fly through the air almost indefinitely with, from what he could see, no measurable chakra cost. And let's not forget that she understood the concepts of quantum physics... Whatever that is.

On the other hand, she paid him absolutely no respect until he gave her that one written sheet of paper (the _**funny**_ _/_ _ **NOT funny**_ one), was incredibly childish, had emptied her stomach on top of his head during a council-meeting, sleeps outside on tree branches (apparently natural chakra emitted from trees is easy to digest), had flown around the compound with his little Hinata piggy-bag-riding on top of her (Hinata is still pouting about the fact that she is not allowed to do that again) and, what is the most irritating thing to the clan head, is fearful of the floor.

Oh, and then there is the whole thing with her humming her own lullabies to herself, being horribly scatterbrained... and her naming herself.

In that month Lilia had given herself her name as well as what appears to be her _clan's name_ , Hiashi had searched through all his clan's archives in hopes to find _some_ kind of evidence of the _Ootsutsuki clan_ 's existence. He didn't believed for a second that he would find anything regarding that name, but his gut instinct - yes, his gut instinct - urged him to search for it.

He HAD found some things, but they were very, very old and in a horrible state. He had found a very old and tattered family tree he couldn't read the names written on and an old box filled with the dusty remains of an old book. There also was an old (horribly made) child's drawing of a woman with three eyes (two white, one red), incredibly long, pale blue hair and a pair of horns.

That was it.

He had postponed further searches for an indefinite amount of time.

 _"A double-edged blade cuts your heart in two~"_

The door to his study slid open and in stepped the lovely form of Hyuuga Hinoka, a tray of tea in her hands and an usually flying future source of natural disasters sitting on her shoulders.

"That is a rather morbid lullaby you are singing, Lilia-chan." Outside, Hiashi remained stoic at his wife's comment. Inside his mind, he snorted.

"It is a cry for help from an insane dragon to its child. Of course it is morbid." Childish reasoning. The patriarch didn't expect anything else.

"Why would a dragon cry for help?" Hinoka humored the child.

"Well, dragons live for an indefinite amount of time. There is always a chance that they would become insane after some millennia have passed, especially if they choose to oppose their violent nature. This dragon foresaw that and created this as-a-lullaby-disguised cry for help so that one of his children - well, descendants really - would come and end its misery. I like to sing it because I like it, though."

Hiashi upheld his stoic facade while the woman continued to inquire. "Who taught you to sing it?"

"No one. It was already inside my head." Again, a cheerful, childish reply.

"It was already inside your head? together with the background information?" the patriarch asked calmly, inwardly slightly concerned about the child's mental state.

"Yep! Together with a lot of other implanted information."

"Implanted information..," the mother voiced in order to confirm it for himself, a slight bit of worry in her voice.

The child began to pout, crossing her arms on top of her adopted mother. "My biological parents didn't wanted to do this whole baby-raising-up-thingy and attempted to make a shortcut. They... sorta made one, but weren't satisfied, declared me a 'failure' and threw me through a portal. Ya know the rest."

Hinoka remained silent, as did Hiashi. The clan head just proceeded to stare at the young child, letting the barest tint of disbelieve be visible on his face.

Lilia continued to pout. "What? Did you honestly expect me to be some sort of Kami-Gods-Jashin-knows-what-created being that just exists to be a pain in the... behind? They wouldn't bother."

"... There are more of you?" Hiashi inwardly sucker-punched himself into the face for simply blurting out that question.

The infant looked at him with an indifferent face. "Duh, how da ya think ya got ya eyes? Natural selection?" She paused for a bit before she started to mutter. "Actually... How DID Hamura only end up with the Byakugan and didn't inherit any other bloodlines? , Well, he DID upgrade it into the Tenseigan at some point, but Hagoromo apparently got aaall the good stuff!"

The two adults in the room blinked. Twice.

The clan head decided to break the silence. "Who is Hamura? and who is Hagoromo?"

Lilia, seemingly lost in her thoughts (all alone), answered without thinking. "They were brothers. Hamura is basically the origin of the Hyuuga clan. Hagoromo is the Sage of six Paths, creator of the bijuu and the origin of the Uchiha, Senju and Uzumaki clans... Maybe the Kaguya clan, too, from what I know. Their mother was Kaguya Ootsutsuki, the Progenitor of Chakra."

Silence.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

The two adults nodded.

"And I probably completely threw everyone's current knowledge of the whole evolution thingy out of the window and figuratively lit it up with a fire dragon bullet barrage, didn't I?"

Again, the two nodded.

"Would you be terribly mad at me if we just keep this between us three? After all, it's just implanted knowledge. Nothing worth the potential future headaches. Who knows, it could be inaccurate."

To solidify this mutual agreement, Hinoka changed the topic. "Lilia isn't afraid of the floor anymore."

The natural disaster in ... Lilia-like form flushed in light embarrassment. "Well, that IS true. I just have to find a way to decrease my intake of nature chakra now..."

Hiashi got at least some good news on this day.

* * *

 **Author Notes**

* * *

Hi there.

Yep, I couldn't help myself. I had to destroy their view of the world.

What do you think, guys? Is Hiashi OoC (Out of Character)?

'Hinata's and Hanabi's Mother' (She really has no official name, from what I know) probably is, but since the Wiki only describes her as a gentle and kind person like Hinata... Come on, that is waaay to vague. I like to think that the Hyuuga-clan had some distant ties to the Uzumaki-clan (like, the sister of the father of the mother of the sister of the Hyuuga elder's cousin was an Uzumaki and married into the Hyuuga-clan at some point and 'Hinoka' is the xth-times granddaughter of her - Juuken / Gentle Fist looks like it could consume a lot of the user's chakra, after all), so I decided to give her a somewhat violent temper that shows up from time to time when she get's irritated. Also, I don't think she simply died because of childbirth. (Hint, hint.)

So, yea, 'Hinoka' is a gentle, thoughtful and caring person who is rather protective about her children and loved ones.

I also like to think that Hiashi has a daughter-complex, but doesn't know on how to express his feelings.

So, what da ya think about little Lilia? I probably made something wrong (again), so don't feel shy about pointing out my flaws. I made a lot of them. I just know it.

I just can't believe that I haven't added little Hinata in yet. Shame on me!

I'm debating onto what I should do next: Two-and-a-half year old kids being taught about how to beat each other up...

... or...

... Hinata's third birthday / Neji getting the Caged-Bird-Seal / the whole kidnapping thingy... All these events apparently happened ON THE SAME DAY! "Happy birthday, Hinata! You are officially the heiress now! To celebrate this, we are going to plant a seal on your cousin's forehead! He will be in terrible, terrible pain and you have to watch! By the way, there is an ambassador from Kumogakure visiting us, so be on your best behavior!"

No wonder Hinata became Hinata.

Anyways, write what your heart desires. I love criticism... and most sweets... and chocolate... and potato chips... and 'Schnitzel'...

Thank you for reading my ramble.


	4. December 27 - Tuesday

**Disclaimer** : I don't own Naruto, Xenoblade Chronicles (X), Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, the world, Overwatch [...] and whatever else I might mention in this story... Except Lilia. She is a product of my insanity.

 **Warning** : Scatterbrained Alien-Child, Kaguya's X-rated Guide, wastelands... oh, and some plot. For your own safety, don't read this at school, during a brain surgery or while you are driving a car.

* * *

 **Ages**  
Hyuuga Hinata: 2 (One day before her birthday)  
Hyuuga Hiashi: 32  
Hyuuga Hinoka: 23  
Ootsutsuki Lilia: 3

* * *

December 26 - Hyuuga Compound - the day before the Hyuuga affair

 **PoV** : Third person: Hiashi

Five minutes.

"Uh... Neechan, that's not supposed to... bend that way..."

"It isn't my fault that the physics aren't ignoring my shenanigans."

They were only unsupervised for five minutes.

"Not everyone can simply... ignore the laws of physics..."

"I'm not ignoring them! I simply treat them like that one ex-friend who isn't allowed to see me anymore. Figuratively, of course."

And within this timeframe...

"Still... didn't we... overdid it... a bit?"

"But how am I supposed to control the fabric of Space-Time without extensively practicing it?"

... these two managed...

"Maybe we should... have asked father beforehand, so he could have... de-sig-na-ted... a proper area for us."

"Hey, he had asked for initiative, so he got initiative. You wanted to improve your sight with your Byakugan and I wanted to test out 'Yomotsu Hirasaka'. I was finally able to read past the tentacle monsters and I am not going to waste an opportunity to learn a borderline Op technique!"

... to deform the backyard into a paradoxical, warped wasteland.

"But shouldn't you... start with the... basics? Like chakra control?"

"Do you know how HARD that is? I am barely three years old and already have borderline kage-level reserves... not counting the biological fallout I throw up. If this goes on, I have Ichibi- or Nibi-level reserves when I am twelve! Do you know how hard it is for me to keep the leaf from NOT incinerating within an blink of an eye already when I do THAT exercise? Tearing a rift into the fabrics of Space-Time IS already supposed to be something basic!"

"But... were you not working on... creating a replica of a... bijuudama?"

"It's the only other chakra-control-exercise I could come up with that doesn't involve trees or water. However, I ran out of balloons, thank you very much! Now get back to improving your Byakugan!"

"H-hai!"

Hiashi proceeded to look dumbstruck at his two daughters. He honestly didn't knew if he should be proud of Hinata being able to activate her Byakugan at her young age or scolding the both of them for the mess they caused. Again.

He took the neutral route and let out a relatively loud cough. A rare action... for a Hyuuga.

Hinata froze and stopped doing whatever she was doing. She slowly turned her head around to face her father. Her adopted sister, Lilia, followed her example and gave the clan head a sheepish smile.

For everyone not accustomed with the 'siblings', they would be an odd sight for them: A young girl with lavender-white eyes and cut-short, dark blue hair sitting piggyback on a young, in-the-air-hovering girl with the same lavender-white eyes, but ridiculously long, pale purple hair.

One a human, the other an alien whose hair apparently consists out of crystallized chakra. Both of them flying on top of the corrupted remains of an once beautiful garden.

 _Lovely. It isn't even Tuesday yet._

Hiashi silently motioned the two of them to come into the dojo. They obeyed.

He had to teach them how to fatally injure their opponents with the pinky finger, after all. Oh, and Lilia still didn't knew how to read.

* * *

December 27 - Morning

 **PoV** : Our flying, space-time-bending biohazard

 _Don't worry about the future, It's alright~  
Because a better picture we can't find~  
Just like our dreams, They gotta be free, So~  
Anyway, Let's move on~_

I am currently lying half-asleep on a tree branch somewhere on the still intact part of the gardens, reciting some lyrics of songs I had the pleasure of listening to while playing games in my past life. And since I mostly grew up with Nintendo...

Anyways. While ' _Don't worry_ ' is not my most favorite song, I think it fits the general situation of me simply being here and all. Also, you gotta have to love Hiroyuki Sawano. He does some good stuff.

Err, yea, and it is also infinite times better to listen to a song inside your thoughts than to Neji's screams as he gets the caged bird seal applied on his forehead. Really now, it is done _somewhere_ in the compound and his screams are SO loud that one might think that the whole sealing-thingy is done right on the bottom of this tree... Privacy seals? What are privacy seals?

Another, but a different scream... They are sealing multiple people at once on this day... Hinata has to watch this entire ordeal being done 'in honor' of her birthday and officially becoming heiress.

She must be horrified right now.

 _Over the rainbow, There's a glorious sight~  
It's lighting our dreams and I hope we're alright~  
We're all the same, even if from another world~  
We don't belong here anymore~_

I watch as the dawn breaks through the gloom. Today is the day of Hinata's third birthday as well as the day of the kidnapping attempt. The day which marks the beginning of my big sister's downward spiral concerning her confidence. The day on which Hiashi will rescue his daughter while killing the kidnapper on the spot. The day that will most likely ' _seal the fate_ ' of Hizashi Hyuuga.

Today is a Tuesday.

A small sigh escaped my lips. _Should I try to rewrite history... if there is a 'history' to rewrite? Or should I just let things happen and not care at all?_

I had once tried to use telekinesis on a guinea pig with foreign chakra flowing through it (read: Hiashi), but said foreign chakra had disrupted my mental hold on it by simply _existing and circulating itself._ I couldn't move that victi-err, guinea pig at all... But it was momentarily confused though.

So, sending the Kumo-ninja straight to the clouds (heh) was out.

'Yomotsu Hirasaka', Kaguya's teleportation technique, would have been nice to have, but... Well, I'm in the really, really, _really_ early stages of getting that move down. So 'let the Kumo-Ninja trip into a portal which is conveniently connected with one located on the moon' was no viable option... Which might be a good thing, really. I don't know if I would have been able to save Hinata from being pulled through the portal into the endless abyss of space.

So making a reference to the final Portal 2-Boss was out, too.

Blasting a 'tailed beast ball' into the kidnapper's face? Not possible since I am not able to use it, courtesy of terrible chakra control and not even being able to get anywhere _near_ to mastering the first step of my stepping stone, the Rasengan. That, and I simply want to learn to create a bijuu-bomb just to see if it is possible for me to create one, so I am in no rush.

Theoretically I could throw some rocks at him (read: move boulders via telekinesis) and hope that he trips over one, but I might hit Hinata... and myself.

I am not delusional enough to think that he won't scoop _both_ of us up - I am going to share my sister's 'futon' with her once again, and, gods, she WILL need someone to cry into.

So, yea, Hiashi will have to save both our sorry behinds like the father-with-a-daughter-complex he is supposed to be.

 _We can go high enough and glide~  
All over the world to find our own lives~  
Come to the dance with the firebird tonight~  
Tonight it's ride or die~_

Damn it, Sawano!

Well, I could always kidnap Hinata myself and, well, simply glide through the sky... I would need to burn through my entire chakra reserves if I want to do that for the entire night though. While I can use telekinesis to make myself practically weightless, thus defying gravity, I can't do the same for my sister. I have to, well, constantly 'push' myself to stay up in the sky.

On the positive side: If I weren't 'in tune' or, well, 'familiar' with her chakra signature and the way it resonates within her, we wouldn't be able to fly together at all. I think.

Just some over-complications. Doesn't help that I simply don't know how exactly my telekinesis-ability works. It just does.

Anyways, we could fly through the sky for... err, approximately four hours straight before we just drop to our deaths... Maybe longer if I stay close to the ground (and thus the large reserves of nature chakra), but what would be the point in flying then?

Screw it. I abduct her as soon as the whole sealing thingy is done, stea- borrow Hiashi's purse and fly into the village to get us some dango. It's her birthday, goddamnit! She is supposed to have SOME fun before the... stuff hits the fan!

I became somewhat obsessive, didn't I?

Nah.

* * *

One hour and thirty minutes later

So, after many, many more cries originating from some poor, unfortunate souls and me going through various The-Legend-of-Zelda-, Fire-Emblem-, Xenoblade-, Naruto- and various other melodies that still managed to somehow stay stuck inside the depths of my brain-organ-thingy (there were a lot of tracks memorized... somewhat) in order to kill some time, my most favorite adopted 'big' sister in this world walks out of the building, although somewhat shaky on her legs.

Like, _my-brain-has-shut-down-and-I-am-fairly-sure-that,-as-soon-as-I-reboot-it-again,-I-will-be-very,-very-traumatized-_ shaky instead of _I-am-traumatized-_ shaky.

Sooo... How do you comfort someone who is -or will be- clearly traumatized when you remember that you are traumatized yourself (and shoved that trauma-thingy SO far back into your mind, compress it and fill into a really, really tiny bottle)? I am the worst guy... gal... thing when it comes to these things - all I can do is listen... and give a hug or two.

I didn't thought that out very well, didn't I?

...

Well... I might not be able to de-traumatize Hinata, but I am fairly sure I know a certain someone who might be able to do that... when he reached his thirteenth birthday. Maybe earlier, if I am lucky. Naruto's Therapy-No-Jutsu would be really, really helpful. Also: I ship them. That is another big reason why I would appreciate his help.

Yes, I am a terrible, terrible alien-child.

What was my plan again? 'Kidnapping' Hinata and get us some dango, right? Well, it's better than no plan at all... Wait, I wanted to hug her later on so she could cry into me, didn't I? Nah, first sweets, then the other stuff. So, let's scoop her up and...

...

Where is she?

...

Did I got lost in my thoughts (all alone) again? Probably. So, where is she?

The garden is empty (and will continue to be so for... five years max?), she isn't running, err, _walking_ down the... let's call it 'terrace', she isn't inside her room (window is open)...

I wish I could _safely_ use the Byakugan... I don't know what would happen when I would channel chakra into my eyes to activate that pair of genetic awesomeness. Remember, invisible, nonexistent audience, my chakra-control is abysmal. Like... I am fairly sure that three years old Naruto would be better at it than me. Probably. Maybe. So, before I do something stupid (again) and eyeballs explode as a consequence, I better wait until I manage to gain some descent control over the free food in the atmosphere.

... Chakra equals food. Huh... So THAT is the reason why I mostly eat solid (and liquid) food once a week... give or take some months...

Ootsutsuki-biology is weird. That will be my most used excuse for everything concerning me, right?

... I got distracted again, didn't I?

So, yea... Where would Hinata be right now? Her room, right? Doing this whole... dressing-properly-thingy, right? Because... if you are being kidnapped, you have to dress yourself like a princess in order to be rescued... at some point. That's how it works, right?

Wait, I just confirmed that she isn't inside her room.

...

I am horribly scatterbrained today.

GAH, to hell with it! If I can't find her and I won't leave my comfortable spot up here on the tree, so I'm just gonna read that X-rated guide of Kaguya... Why does she have to be a pervert? WHY?

What did I want to do again? Ah, yes, guide...

 _If you have problems with creating two portals (created via Yomotsu Hirasaka) and synchronizing them with each other, then don't bother to create the second one: You will just be thrown into a parallel dimension directly linked to the one you just left and be 'one with nature', as most natives would say. One has to enter Parallel Dimension A in order to understand what it actually does. Anyways, you then can either directly manipulate Dimension A by altering Parallel Dimension A in any way you want (for further explanations, read "How to crush your Ex with his own-)_

No, I am skipping that part!

 _... or you can then create a portal that leads back to Dimension A. Due to a lack of females (thanks to most males in long-lasting-relationships murdering their daughters so they don't go out on dates_ (!) _)male (and in very rare cases female) representatives of our species tend to_ -

Gods, WHY?

Sigh... Alright, it's time to make my eyeballs explode.

So, I just have to focus the chakra-apple-juice-thingy into my eyeballs and-

Something breaks the sound barrier... And my vision turns white...

* * *

 **PoV** : Third person: Hiashi

 _It's just another Tuesday. It's just another Tuesday. It's just..._

If they were able to see him, the casual average citizen of Konoha would think that Hiashi Hyuuga seemed to be 'casually' walking through his clan compound to the area where the compound's gardens once were. The Hyuuga knew better.

Their patriarch was irritated, identifiable by the zero-point-zero-zero-two millimeters big drop of sweat on the back of his head. Another easy sign of his irritation was the fact that he left his study way before he had finished his paperwork. Also, everyone who dared to come close to the clan head could hear the muttered mantra. Hiashi's thoughts were that loud.

Oh, and then there is the fact that a shockwave originating from the gardens had somehow pushed his teapot over the edge and onto the bottom area of his robes. No one dared to make a comment about it. After all, it would be a clear case of suicidal intention to do so.

(He had twitched with one of his eyebrows.)

It didn't took long before the clan head stood above the twitching form of his adopted daughter, who, for a lack of a better term, somehow managed to blow herself up... again. The smoke rising from her form was a clear indicator. Her hair was an entire mess of charred, unkempt and/or frizzy strands. Normally, it would be straight and fall down to her kneecaps.

Her white robe had a few holes torn into it, but was otherwise intact. A clear improvement considering the state the gardens are in. That being said, Hiashi focused his attention on her... on Lilia's face: The veins around her eyes were bulged, clear indicators that her Byakugan was activated.

However... she shamelessly drooled out of her half opened mouth.

"So... much... to... see..."

The patriarch concluded that she seemed to be overwhelmed by the amount of information the Byakugan provided her with. And considering the, for a lack of a better word, hands-down ridiculous reserves of chakra the young... ethereal child has access to, combined with her mediocre chakra control, Lilia was unable to deactivate her bloodline right now.

The clan head mentally sighed and picked the lightweight up. After making sure that she would not slip out of his modified 'paperwork'-stance, Hiashi proceeded to softly disrupt the chakra flow heading to her eyes in order to deactivate her eyes manually.

The young... extraterrestrial child instantly awakened out of her daze, blinking twice. "Uhh... What happened?"

"You activated your Byakugan." Hiashi replied evenly.

The young one blinked twice, once again. "I did?"

"Yes." the clan head answered, his voice carefully even again.

"So..." She looked at her clothes, again, blinking twice. "... what happened to my robe?"

"You blew it up." the Hyuuga patriarch patiently responded in an even tone once again.

"Uh-huh..." The girl blinked trice this time. She then faced her adopted father. "So... my eyes didn't explode?"

Hiashi didn't bother to fight the urge to forcefully introduce his face with the inside of his unoccupied, open palm. He took his time and mentally counted down from ten. Finally, his irritation mostly gone (well, not noticeable anymore) he ever so slightly nodded before inquiring. "How much could you see?"

"Uh... I saw... the entirety of Konoha?"

"I see."

* * *

"So, now both of them activated their Byakugan?"

"Yes."

"My my, I can practically _taste_ how your bondless euphoria resonates within the air."

"Hinoka."

"Yes, _honey~_ "

"Lilia blew herself up (again) while activating it."

"And?"

"..."

"Hinata and Lilia turned our gardens into a wasteland, right?"

"... right."

"So, why should we be surprised when she blows herself up? It isn't really an uncommon occurrence"

"... That's the point."

"Being?"

"..."

"..."

"... She is corrupting you."

"And?"

"..."

"..."

"... I did something wrong again, didn't I?"

"Hinata is traumatized."

"... and?."

 ***Smack***

* * *

Early afternoon

 **PoV** : Our Kaguya-lookalike

I think Hiashi and Hinoka had... a minor disagreement. Minor in the sense that the 'civilian' member of the Hyuuga-clan leaks some concentrated quality-killing-intent at her husband. The red, hand-shaped mark on the clan head's left cheek is also clearly visible from quite a distance away. Whatever he did, I am fairly sure he deserved it.

That being said, we now attend to a rather important... tea ceremony thingy. 'Important' in the sense of that the third Hokage, Nara Shikaku, Yamanaka Inoichi, Akimichi Chouza, Aburame Shibi, Uchiha Stinky-Hair as well as their significant others and their children attended to the party... Oh, the 'Head Ninja of Kumogakure' whose official name shall be 'K' (m'kay), Inuzuka Tsume, Eye-patch-dog, Kiba, Hana, the triplets and a big portion of the Hyuuga clan elders as well as some sla- branch family members were here too. The children are here for a play date thingy in order to celebrate Hinata's (and, belated, my) birthday and the grown-ups to, well, sign a worthless document.

From the way Hinoka and Mikoto converse with the other grown-up females as if they were very close siblings I have the strong suspicion that it was their idea. Fugaku and Hiashi don't glare at one another, but instead share a knowing look with the other grown-up males who attended this meeting with their wives. Right now, there were no clan boundaries. There only existed the shared feeling of dread and horror... and the knowledge that none of them were kind enough to kill the other ones off in order to free them from their misery.

So while the grown-ups (plus Hana, Itachi and Kuromaru) do their best to brace themselves for a potential future calamity we, the children, sit on our own table and do the truly important things.

"Truth!"

"Why do you have these weird triangles instead of eyebrows?" a young, clueless Kiba asked.

"Mhh, 'guess that's because I'm not a human. I fell from the sky, ya know? So, let's spin the bottle again!"

Truth or Dare! That's right, invisible audience, this is the truly important stuff. What once originally was me being interrogated by a bunch of three year olds quickly mutated into this fun little game. It is also the only game which allows us to get our sole Uchiha-participant to speak without gaining his older brother's wrath.

Speaking of broody-mc-grumpy-sticks-Jr.: "And the divine bottle of the ancestors choose you, oh silent one, to either share one of your most embarrassing moments with us or create a new one, so that all the participants of our sacred creed shall bathe in your misery. So I, the awesome one, ask you: Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" the young, naive, clueless, _pure_ boy answered in an annoyed tone, Uchiha-inherent-standard-glare present. Oh, poor, poor _Sas'ke_.

"I give you three options: Hug Ino," Sasuke and Ino both jumped up in shock and horror. Ah, the good ol' _boys/girls are evil/disgusting/boring_ -phase. ", kiss a boy of your choice," a thing far, FAR worse than the first dare, if you ask most kids. "or ask your father about how babies are made." Said person swallowed on his tea. HARD. As did most of the other fathers on the grown-ups-table, including the future kidnapper and the Sandaime Hokage. The females (and Itachi, for some odd reason) on the other hand quietly snickered, sharing looks filled with mischief.

I. Am. Evil.

Sasuke desperately clung onto a terrified (and apparently enlightened) Ino. Party-pooper.

And the bottle goes round and round and round and round... ... ... to land on me again.

"Truth~" As if I would entertain to _do_ something embarrassing.

The sole Uchiha of our group openly glared at me, having already separated from the young Yamanaka. "Why does the bottle always end up pointing at you when we spin it?" It was more of a demand than a question.

I smiled cheerfully and started to hover in the air. "I'm cheating, of course. Next-"

"That's unfair!" a young Ino basically shrieked, much to all of the participants misfortune.

"Telekinesis is awe-some!~" Really now, it is the best thing ever... After cinnamon buns and Hinata, of course.

"Troublesome."

"How do you do that? How do you fly like that?" broody-mc-grumpy-sticks-Jr. demanded.

I smiled brightly. "It's just me being awesome."

"But big brother is awesome, too. He can't fly like that." Wow, little duck-butt hasn't protested when I called myself awesome. If I am lucky, he might be minion-material! Hell yes!

"Neechan doesn't actually know how it works."

The audience focused their gazes on my poor, poor big sister after she had finally come back to the world of the living lunatics... and from the sound of her ' _Eep_ ' she is very uncomfortable with the sudden attention she gets.

That being said... Screw the formal attire. "Who wants to play Ninja?"

Undivided attention and approval from every male as well as reluctant agreement from Hinata, Ino and Shikamaru.

"All-righty then... I am the main villain who has a zombie-puppet-leader-villain who also has a childish-puppet-leader-villain with his own puppet-leader-villain. That or the expensive, ridiculously overpowered DLC-mercenary."

"That are a lot of puppet-leaders." Choji commented, all the while munching on a bag of chips.

"I heard you want to 'play Ninja'," a certain person who most likely will kill almost all of his clan members in a single night somewhere in the future made himself known directly behind me.

I smiled. "Yep. You can be the cool, aloof and overly relaxed Jonin-sensei who doesn't give a... thing about what is going on and is constantly two hours late-"

"You mean Kakashi." Itachi hasn't asked.

"Yea, that guy. Ino, you will be the token female who get's ridiculously strong near the middle of the play... That or you can be the crazy poison mistress who loves to torture her own teammates."

"POISON!" Ino shouted with SO much enthusiasm that I just can't find a fitting description for it. It also seems to be disturbing that she giggles like a maniac.

"Shino," said child seemed to be mildly surprised that someone actually realized that he existed, if the eyebrows rising from his glasses are anything to go by, "I am sorry that I have to do this to you (not), but you are going to be the T&I-specialist."

"Acceptable."

"Kiba, you will be the deadlast who will rise above everyone and save the world from the evil vegetable goddess."

The Inuzuka seemed to be offended at first, then thought it over, grinned and nodded in affirmation. "Hell yes! Leave it to the alpha male!"

"Hana," little Kiba jumped up in fright as his sister's name was called. Said female, who stood behind her brother now (smirking, of course), "You will be the caring, optimistic Jonin-sensei who periodically gives her young brother a whack on his head."

She smirked brightly now... I think I made a new friend... or she just really loves to torture her younger brother. The male Inuzuka's face twisted in horror.

"Sasuke, you will be the princess."

"WHAT?"

I really, really wished I had a camera right now. Princess's face is priceless!

"As I said, Sasuke will be the princess who gets at least one power up every five minutes - maybe two, if he isn't overpowered enough. He then get's his behind handed to him from zombie-puppet-leader-villain, gains half of the power of the Sage of the Six Paths after six thousand filler episodes... Sorry, got distracted."

"Can't we just do what we want? All _your_ planning is just far too troublesome." Nara Sikamaru: The voice of reason.

"Fiiine, let's just roll our faces over the plot. I still demand that Sasuke is the princess though."

"Why do I have to be the princess? Can't she" he pointed at Hinata (who hides behind me) "do the role?"

"Nah, I just don't want her to be the damsel in distress. Way to cliché." I clapped my hands together before Hinata had a chance to get lost in her traumatizing thoughts (all alone) again. "Alright, let's go to the wastelands!"

"Don't you mean 'the gardens'?" a curious Mini-Ino asked.

"Is there a difference?"

* * *

Nighttime

Playing Ninja in the deformed wastelands that once were beautiful, green and lively gardens was kinda fun... and dangerous... but still, mostly fun... somewhat... a bit... not...

Mini-Kiba and Mini-Princess got into a brawl and Itachi, being the overprotective brother and twisted pacifist he is, released (mild) killing-intent when his brother got hurt. I got caught in the crossfire, found out that the intent to seriously hurt some unfortunate soul really messes with telekinetic prowess, touched the ground and, well... Grandma floor shoved far too much delicious food into me. Needless to say, no one was in the mood to play afterwards.

So, yea... Meanwhile, the absolutely worthless document got signed, with the major clan heads as the witnesses. Agent K apparently stays overnight because, well, reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with a potential kidnapping of the clan's heiress and her as-a-snuggle-thingy-abused adoptive little sister.

Hinata has a strong grip, invisible audience. Combine that with the simple fact that I am... well... let's just say that... ya know... if you fly through the air all the time... and don't... ya know...

Let's just say that an one-year-old has more pure physical strength than me. Yes, I am that pathetic.

It's not like I need physical strength anyways. After all, theoretically I just have to poke things with Gentle-Fist-strikes... Juuken-strikes... That stuff. Too bad that I have absolutely no Idea how to use it. The first time I tried to push chakra out of my hands I blew myself up for the first time... Apparently I used the One-God-version of Kaguya's Eighty Gods: Vacuum Attack.

Then I passed out because of chakra exhaustion. Two-and-a-half years old me with, uh, very high Jonin level reserves AND additional natural energy had completely emptied her reserves with just one 'failed' attempt at learning Juuken. I have absolutely no idea how I did that... The One God: Vacuum Palm that is. From what Hiashi said though, that attack was 'borderline ridiculous'.

Yes, he used exactly these two words. He also delayed further instructions concerning chakra emission though the palms for an indefinite amount of time. Instead, I am tasked to, well, do tons of chakra control exercises that (hopefully) don't set the estate on fire... like the leaf-exercise.

I swear, I had channeled as little chakra as possible into the leaf! How am I supposed to know that that thing burst into an one meter high pillar of fire within a blink on an eye?

I should walk on trees? Pah! Levitating through the air became such a normal thing to me that it is basically chiseled into my subconscious... Like Hinata said earlier today, I have absolutely no clue how my 'Telekinesis' works. It just does. So, well, every time I try to walk up on trees or on top of water 'Telekinesis' comes to my 'aid' and does the job.

It is frustrating.

The Hyuuga are known for their high chakra control because it is basically the first thing they learn as soon as they walk. Sure, they have some nifty gadgets to fine tune their control, but, as I stated, they are solely used to fine tune their control. I would cause some major property damage if I would just touch one. My control is just that bad.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I try to learn the Rasengan: I have absolutely no Idea what I should do instead. Having access to a damn awesome technique is just a minor plus. Knowing me though, I would just use it solely for the purpose of messing around with the others... Like, generating one in the middle of the classroom and then eat it as if it was an apple.

I don't explode anymore... within five seconds... most of the time...

At least it is only me that explodes when I 'practice' that technique.

It'll definitely take a looong time for me to get the first step right though. The 'Rotation'-part, that is... I think I need a few years for that... Maybe half a decade. The 'power'-part might either be really, really easy or really, really hard. I 'just' have to compress chakra outside of my body after all... Yea, that will definitely be hard.

Mmh, maybe I should learn another one of Kaguya's techniques in the meantime... I'm thinking about the Rabbit Hair Needle. Long-range awesomeness! Rain from above!

"... no... stop..."

Damn it, Hinata has a nightmare. And most likely a very, very bad one, too. And since I am at the mercy of her death-hug and her grip get's stronger and stronger with every passing minute...

I really prefer to inhale my oxygen without major complications. So, in order to... well, delay my untimely death once again, I need to... console her... right? You have to hug the person who has the nightmare, pat their head and make shooing voices... that's what you have to do, right? Basically doing the same things that got me into this situation in the first place, right?

Hinata really needed a shoulder to cry on in order to process the stuff that happened in the morning. Whatever she saw must've been very, very horrible.

Wait, seeing tons of family members as they cry in agony and unfathomable pain IS horrible... right?

... Did I repress much more than some unsavory memories into the dark depths of my mind?

Nah.

Tears gather around my sister's closed eyes... What to do, what to do... Plan A: "Shh, It's going to be alright." So, now following up with softly stroking her back... She cries harder. Damn it.

Well then, Plan LiTaa!  
 _"You are the ocean's gray waves, destined to-"_

Something grips us. Big hand pushes a piece of cloth against my face. Shock. Anesthetics are inhaled...

Hinata awakes. She lets out a cry. Cursing behind me... Blurs...

Shadows swallow the world...

* * *

I awoke within my sister's unbreakable hug. Confusion and a groggy something cloud my mind... Hinata had broken down, sobbing like... a sad person? Her eyes were closed, but she was awake... probably?

I blink. Twice. Trice. "What happened?"

Her eyes snapped open...

More blinking... four times. Five times.

"You are alive!" She cries again... She isn't sad though, is she?

I wince... I won't be alive for long if she reinforces her grip more than she already did.

Glancing around... We are somewhere in the woods. The corpse of 'Agent K' lies a fair distance away from us. Hiashi has a conversation with some representatives of the 'Uchiha Police Acadamy', or whatever they call themselves. The clan head's right fist was covered in blood.

"You weren't moving and... and... yourheartwasn'tbeating!"

I blink again. "Which one?" I feel fine... mostly... probably...

She just hugs me harder. I... awkwardly pat her on the back. What do you do in these situations again? "It's... It's going to be alright. Can I have some oxygen now? Please? Pretty please?"

Her hold onto me eases a bit... Enough to breathe without too much trouble. We now stare at one another at eye-level...

...

Did she always had a petal in each of her eyes?

* * *

 **Author Notes**

* * *

Hi there.

Yes, it is happening. Hinata will evolve a Tenseigan in the far future.  
The Wiki states that a Byakugan will evolve into the Tenseigan if an Hyuuga's Byakugan in implanted into the eye sockets of one of Hamura's descendants and/or vise versa. That brings the question how Hamura himself got his own, and I am not willing to pull the 'Human-Alien-Hybrid'-card... or the atmospheric differences on top of the moon... Anyways, I am abusing my mighty writing skillzzz and pave the way for an alternative.

Hinata will have to earn her 'petals'. Right now, three year old Hinata had earned her first petal out a total of twelve. as funny as it would be for her to have it instantly, it would also be really, really boring to read if she just could defeat every opponent with one of her lower intestinal winds.

My excuse to give Hinata the potential to earn a ridiculously powerful set of abilities:  
Naruto was/will be able to give every member of the Allied Shinobi Forces an one tailed Bijuu-cloak via high-fives from one moment to the other.

Also, given that I introduced a Mini-Kaguya-wannabe into the world of Naruto and simply don't know what my head was thinking until after I wrote everything down...  
Weird, that sounded like a lame excuse.

What does she have to do to earn her 'petals'? Training, determination, hardships, mood swings and living by "The Will of Fire!" (aka gaining random power-ups after being beaten down by a stronger opponent and not giving up.)

Hinata will have the ability to liberate a pebble from the omnipresent grip of gravity once she gained her third petal. At six petals, it will actually be useful in combat. Right now, or young heiress has slightly improved sight with her Byakugan.

So, onto the flying biohazard.  
Yes, her chakra control is so far beyond catastrophic that she either blows herself up or uses a random, ridiculously powerful technique that will drain her entire reserves instead.

Yes, she called Sasuke 'Princess' and will continue to do so.

Yes, Hiashi doesn't know the Shadow clone technique.

Anyways, next up: Hanabi! Oh and... the untimely end of Hyuuga Hinoka? Yes? No? Probably yes. Sadly.

Write what your heart desires! I like criticism... and sweets... and my computer... oh, and pretending to be insane.

Thank you for reading my ramble.


	5. Of sticks, plans and fishcakes

**Disclaimer** : I don't own Naruto, Bravely Default/Second, Pokémon, Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, Star Wars and whatever else I might have included into this story / chapter. The world would have ended if I did, in fact, own the rights of just one of the titles (which I don't).

 **Warning** : Horrible scatterbrained Alien child, most anticlimactic assassination attempt, fireworks and a fishcake. For safety reasons, don't read this at school, during work, at home... wait...

* * *

Ages  
Hyuuga Hinata: 4  
Hyuuga Hanabi: roughly six and a half months  
Hyuuga Hiashi: 34  
Hyuuga Hinoka: 25  
Ootsutsuki Lilia: 4  
Uchiha Itachi: 10  
Uchiha 'Princess' Sasuke: 5

* * *

October 9th - Morning

 **PoV** : Third person: Hiashi

"I DID IT!"

Hiashi immediately abandoned his ever-growing pile of paperwork and _body flicker_ ed into the wastelands. His basically-adopted daughter had achieved something and, from his experience, it was NEVER a good sign if she announced her accomplishment _loudly_.

Although this was the first time that the sole reason for almost ninety-two percent of his paperwork exclaimed her achievement in this loud manner, the clan head was not taking any chances. His heightened senses developed from the experiences with theoretically-adopted alien-daughters _screamed_ that, if that little, deceptively cute calamity (to almost everyone who tried to remain sane) even as much as giggled, he had to intercept her as soon as possible if he wanted to control the future influx of to-be-signed documents anytime soon, since most of the extraterrestrial's training tended to do a lot of property damage.

So anyone could guess how surprised the patriarch was when he found out that the gardens-turned-wastelands were in the exact same horribly damaged state as the day before.

Instead of another massive crater in the ground, Hiashi found the otherworldly creature hovering cross legged upside down while poking the earth with a stick.

The father of now two genetically related daughters doubted that tormenting the ground was the original achievement though. "Lilia, what have you done?"

The (probably clinically insane) girl looked up (down?) at her practically-adopted father...

... and smiled.

A bad sign.

A second later, just some steps in front of him, a tiny, pitch-black square seemed to... simply exist? Show up? It was like all matter, or rather reality itself, was pushed aside like a curtain to make room for that... square. It was as big as his thumb.

Lilia cheered and then proceeded to push the twig into the ground. At the same time, a-

The clan head visibly paled, all Hyuuga-stoicism gone. "What in the- What have you done?"

"I created an anomaly in the fabrics of Space-Time and linked two portals with one another within the same dimension." the four years and nine months old child chirped happily. "Obviously, I have to eradicate some more errors , such as stabilizing that whole transportation-thingy, buuut the fact that the objects actually show up again indicate that I managed to improve." the young one sounded irritably smug as she added that part.

Hiashi inspected that... _thing_ that got spit out of the miniature wormhole... It had the shape of the stick Lilia had pushed into the earth, but that were all the similarities that were left. That... thing was colored in all the colors known to mankind (as well as all the unknown ones) and looked like it had been completely dematerialized, half-heartedly rematerialized, animated, horribly tortured, ripped apart, put together with dirty bandages, burned in the desert's sun, frozen during the desert's nights, used as a weapon against some eldritch abomination, squashed by said abomination, killed by the one who fought said abomination, reanimated by a hobby-necromancer, robbed of its soul, abused as an organ farm, thrown into a volcano, stitched together again, thrown into a trashcan, recycled, thrown into some unidentifiable chemicals, abandoned in the red light district, adopted by a green mutant on steroids with anger issues, used as a toothpick, thrown away again, tormented by a bunch of three year olds... and finally vomited out of the depths of hell. Truly, this stick survived the nightmares of Hiashi's worst nightmares' nightmares.

The clan head never imagined that he would pity a piece of wood, but here he was, doing exactly that.

"Lilia..."

"... Yes?"

"You have calligraphy lessons. Now."

"Okay." the young one chirped.

"And... please get rid of... that thing."

"Uh... can't I keep it?"

Hiashi _almost_ said 'no' as a reflex, but managed to restrain himself. Basic mathematics dictate that, if you _subtract_ a _negative_ value from a value, the negatives cancel each other out and the value get's added instead. So, if the patriarch would answer with 'no', Lilia would happily keep the... thing for herself and terrorize mankind with it.

He couldn't let that happen.

"After the lessons, I treat you to cinnamon buns if you erase that... thing from this plain of existence."

And just like that the horrible abomination of a stick was thrown into a tiny square, hopefully to never, ever be seen again.

* * *

October 9th - Evening

 **PoV** : The girl who poked an unstable hole into the fabrics of Space-Time

So, three Hyuuga, four Uchiha and an alien child enter a tea house...

I don't know how exactly Hinoka and Mikoto became BFFs, but from the way how they (rather violently) drag their significant others onto the same table and then chatter with one another and threat the fact that the heads of two prestigious and bitterly rivaled clans sit right next to each other as a minor inconvenience...

Yea, Kushina did an amazingly good job.

Alright, a somewhat fresh Chunin, a princess and two cinnamon bun addicts sit at a table, facing a plate of sugary goodness... You have three guesses to find out who they are and the first two don't count.

"Come ooon, princess! Just a bite."

"No!"

"Just a small, little, tiny, microscopic bit?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please?"

"No! Sweets are disgusting!"

 ***Gasp*** "Did you hear that, Hinata?"

"I did, dear sis... This poor, sweet deprived soul... never had cinnamon buns once in his entire life."

"This deprivation shall not be tolerated any longer! Come, dear sister! Today we guide this poor individual to the beautiful heaven of sugary goodness (commonly reffered to as' addiction'). To arms!"

"Hai!"

You heard right, nonexistent, invisible audience. Hinata and I are so addicted to cinnamon buns that we actively attempt to convert heathens (commonly referred to as 'sweet haters') in order to bring them on the road straight to the (unhealthy) sweet-tooth.

And the panicking Princess is our first victi-, err, person in need. How can he survive without sweets?

That being said, Itachi was not amused (enough). Since he is still in 'super-awesome-big-brother-mode he saved his little brother from an addiction by giving us _the glare_.

None of us two dared to make a comment about the remains of cinnamon on his right cheek.

The owner of the tea house definitely had his fair share of heart attacks for the day though.

* * *

October 10th - Morning

I am thinking.

Yea, that is something that doesn't happen very often, but today is an uncommon exception.

So, I have an aptitude for Space-Time-techniques, which means that I can rather easily tear a rift into the fabrics of dimensions and all that junk. Time itself seems to be a rapidly growing fungus that doesn't really die while Space is the sandwich fungus-tempus grows upon.

So what happens if I remove some of the fungus?

The thought came to me when I hummed the battle theme of Ba'al Turtle Dove, the gigantic sparkly chicken-bride of doom from the game Bravely (Default) Second. Ya know, that game had Geist (German name hype!) _the bloody_ , a rather awesome character who, after defeating him, unlocks the class _exorcist_. The guy had the ability to reset his (60k? maximum) hp-pool to the previous turn's value. In other words: If you tried to rush him with all your characters and took him down to 30k hp, he casted _Undo hp_ onto himself and was back at full health while continuing to grin at you like a happy sadomasochistic psychopath... He and Hidan would be BFFs in no time.

Long story short: Geist's techniques were Space-Time-techniques. Well, _Undo_ certainly was. One-shot-'d Revenant with it after realizing I could cast it on him.

Err... yea... I want to recreate _Undo_ , because... well, I feel kinda sadistic.

Oh _,_ Princess stole Hinata's claimed right for Naruto's first kiss. _Undo!_  
Woops, accidentally killed my sensei after he groped my behind. _Undo!_  
Hmm, Haku looks very, very dead from that angle. _Undo!_  
Outch, Gaara crushed my torso. _Undo!_  
Aww, did little Kabuto patched himself up after Naruto made a Rasengan-shaped hole on his abdomen? _Undo!_  
Pain made a gigantic crater out of Konoha and its citizens? _Undo!_  
Nagato died after reanimating everyone? _Undo!.. Nagato's death, that is._  
What? Kaguya got sealed away already? I haven't seen it, so _Undo! Do it again, Princess and Naruto._

Just to give a few examples for what I _could_ use that ridiculously overpowered move (at least for Naruto-verse standards) for... Well, I hope it works for the first case.

Will that be an S-ranked forbidden Iryo-/Ninjutsu? Hell yes!

Do I care that that technique would seriously 'break the game'? Nope, I don't care.

It's not like I know how to select a certain part of this dimensional plane, isolate it within a minor pocket dimension and then turn the time back within this dimensional shard. Distances would have to be configured, I would need to find a 'blueprint' within the multi-dimensional planes (aka find a way to travel back in time in order to find the object's former physical state) and... well... I might need a lot of guinea pigs. Or twigs.

Well, _Undo_ will be a future project. The steps of the Rasengan for chakra control and Yomotsu Hirasaka as the entry stone for Space-Time-shenanigans come first, with Juuken and the Rabbit Hair Needle in between.

Speaking of Juuken... and the other techniques...

I think I and mother are the only persons who openly make Hinata believe that she is not a weak little girl - Hinoka does this by giving her a safe haven and much needed support within the harsh waves of the main family... and me because my sister absolutely obliterates me during spars. Without chakra emission.

My physical strength su- is lacking.

Yea... I forgot to take the walking lessons. Not my fault that they are sooo boooring and unnecessary.

Besides... I CAN walk... I just don't do it often.

Dang it, FOCUS!

So, Hinata is already quite adept with the gentle fist kata-thingies and disables me within one minute without use of chakra. She is quick for an almost-five year old. And flexible. And agile.

I? Well, since I spend most of my time dosing on top of my nap-tree near the (somewhat recovering, but still majorly wasteland-ish) gardens reminiscing about stuff out of video games, animes, cartoons, fiction and whatnot from my past life (while trying to not trigger anything related to ANY kind of potentially traumatizing flashback)...

...

Good news: I managed to decrease my intake of food when I touch non-artificial grounds. I throw up after three minutes now instead of within ten seconds. Progress!

My chakra control became better, too. I only blow up once in ten tries instead of... the other way around. It is a major improvement, considering that my reserves probably reach Ichibi-level once I am ten years old... Not counting the natural chakra/ sage chakra/ that stuff in the air that get's passively collected by (and consumed within) my body. Still, my control is _really bad_... in human measurements. Well, it is a better definition than _nonexistent_ , _pathetic_ or _abysmal_. Improvement!

The progress with the Rasengan aka chakra-control-exercise currently sits at twenty-five percent... the first stage, that is. I managed to move the water within the balloon in _a_ circular motion. Without the thingy randomly combusting and incinerating, that is. Yes, I managed to set water on fire by channeling chakra into it, and no, I am fairly sure that I have _no_ affinity towards fire.

Next on the list, the Rabbit Hair Needle...

Apparently if your hair consists purely out of crystallized chakra it is almost child's play (heh) to move it in any way you want. If I concentrate, I can move my long, ground-reaching hair as four separate... tentacles...

Ugh... Two words: Blame Kaguya.

Theoretically, I can channel chakra through the hair and _effectively_ use them for Juuken strikes and/or to snare my opponents... if I am able to do it subconsciously, that is. Right now, it is rather... well, I don't want to say 'useless', but... it is not that far away.

Next up is the 'One God: Vacuum Palm', as I am officially naming it... I am not passing out anymore when I use it, but it is still a one-time-use which leaves me with... Genin-level reserves? Yea, sounds about right. It is rather unstable, but powerful all the same. Kaiten ain't nothin' against it, as Hiashi had to learn the hard way. What? He gave me the OK to use it against him since he wanted to test its strength against the 'ultimate' defense.

Don't worry, he survived. Not undamaged - he had a broken leg -, but it could have been worse. It gave him a proper reason to get an audience with Grandpa Hokage though... Officially to ' _personally discuss_ ' my development and all that rigmarole. Unofficially... well...

He gets his shadow clone instruction scroll on his thirty-fifth birthday.

So, what else...

I can read Kanji now... Well, it takes an hour until I fully understand what is written on one page of a book, but that counts as 'able to read', right? Right?

...

My calligraphy skills are... sort of alright... The handwriting is messy, but one can (sort of) understand what I have written on the sheet of paper. Still needs a lot of improvement.

And, at last: Fuinjutsu!

In my past life, I learned how to program minor things on a computer... Like creating a basic calculator... Yea, I know, that is rather pathetic. Logical circuits on the other hand and arraying lots and lots of... arrays onto one another...

I am good at logical things and tasks, let's go with that. Gotta love modified Minecraft. Applied Energistics 2 is SUCH a good mod...

Err, yes... the bottom line of all that is... well...

Sometime during January, I saw an explosive tag and copied it as best as I could. I activated my Byakugan (thankfully not exploding for once), channeled chakra into the copy and watched how the chakra flowed through the tag. I was able to differentiate the... well, different sequences and what they were doing.

An input leads into multiple tiny chakra storage sequences which get filled to the brim, a compression sequence activates, another trigger... triggers the ignition once the chakra storages were compressed to a tenth of their original size... Well, and then comes the Boom.

I had blown myself up. Again. But hey, I am used to it. I set the tag off in the middle of the wastelands, so no one got actually hurt... aside from me, of course.

So, yea... I, physically an almost five year old alien, know how to create explosive tags.

These words should not be used in the same sentence... at least not without a 'don't' added to it.

The summary of all this...

Project 'Undo': Something for the future.  
Yomotsu Hirasaka: Creation and linking of portals possible. Have to stabilize the wormholes and make them bigger.  
Rasengan: Progress... the slow kind.  
RHN: I can move my hair. Somewhat. Have to find a way to launch needles with it now... without losing hair length.  
OG:VP: Too strong. Too resource intensive. Too instable.  
Telekinesis: Still shuts down if I'm blasted with killing intent.  
Chakra absorption: Comparable to a starved Akimichi in front of an all-you-can-eat-buffet... Well, maybe not that bad...  
Close combat skills: Learning Gentle fist...  
Fuinjutsu: Explosives! Who doesn't love explosives? Explosives are awesome! Explosives for everyone!

Physical endurance: ... Have to look that up in a dictionary.  
Chakra reserves: Will I ever run out of that stuff? OG:VP doesn't count.  
Intelligence: I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!  
Reading and writing: Could be better.  
Sanity: Overrated

All in all... Not THAT bad... for an almost-five year old.

My current (well, future) move-set (wow... sounds a bit too much like Pokémon) has one rather obvious flaw though... 'Go big or go home' is not really all that good for sneakiness... scratch that, some of the abilities ARE good for sneaking around, but...

Most of my (future) techniques will create some major property damage, and _a_ Rabbit -Hair-Needle just won't cut it to... end... certain... foes...

...

Nope! I am NOT getting depressed now! Nope! Nix da! Nada! Go back to your corner, bad thoughts! Let me alone! Away! Now!

...

I am good at repressing unwanted thoughts. Very, very , _very_ good.

I _know_ , at some point, it might all explode and make me into some kind of gods damn natural disaster, but...

...

You know...

...

If I don't think about it, it doesn't think about me. That's how it _should_ work, right?

...

Right?

...

It isn't working...

* * *

October 10th - Late Afternoon - Kyuubi Festival

 **PoV** : Third person: Hinoka

The (officially) civilian ranked matriarch of the Hyuuga clan was... worried. For multiple reasons.

Her youngest daughter, Hanabi, was all alone in her crib, only supervised by _one_ capable member of the clan. Sure, the caretaker was an experienced (old) woman, but... What if the youngest one started to cry? She wouldn't be there for her, to soothe her, to make sure that her diapers get changed properly, that no one kidnapped her, that she wouldn't randomly explode, that no one would seal away some eldritch monstrosity inside her... It all happened before, so it was more than justified to worry over it!

To amplify these thoughts, the tension within the clan were growing once more. From what Hinoka could gather, an elder from the main family had... a leniency to _punish_ members of the branch family if they made the tiniest _mistake_ in whatever they were doing... Be it gardening, serving tea or even breathing _his_ oxygen... or denying certain _orders_... concerning apparel. The mother of three children had a rather good idea which certain individual started to abuse his power over others in such a lenient fashion and, like many times before, she would seek to... make sure that the problem would be... _gently_ taken care of. But right now, he was still able to do whatever he so wished...

Hinoka made herself relatively popular in the eyes of the branch family by 'purging' these problems... by letting her husband know since he was busy dealing with ever growing piles of paperwork (five percent of the documents were actually _important_ , about ten percent were proposals for arranged marriages, another five percent were just filled with ranting (as well as tons of insults) and the rest was related to Lilia). Doing that though, she _risked to destroy the public image of the Hyuuga clan_...

In other words, Hinoka made herself rather unpopular within the main family by doing something every reasonable member of human society with the power to make a difference _should_ do: Aiding the ones that can't defend themselves instead of shrugging and going along with it. It wouldn't surprise her if _someone_ would try to... find a quiet way to dispose of her.

A quick glance at the eight guards accompanying her and her four year old daughters told her that Hiashi was also concerned for her wellbeing... There would have been more if Hinoka hadn't protested.

So, and another, somewhat worrying case for the matriarch was, irritatingly, Lilia not being... Lilia. Normally, she was childish (accounting her being one), cheerful, the very definition of the word 'insane', scatterbrained and... well, herself.

Now, these traits just... weren't there. Hidden underneath something. Stripped from her persona. All that was left was... someone who didn't know how to express her remaining emotions.

So, unable to properly show any form of negative emotion, Lilia's expression was a mix of faint somberness, a drop of sadness, a grain-sized bit of fear and... an ocean's worth of emptiness.

Hinoka sighed. Originally, this day should have been a joyful one. The Village hidden in the Leaves had recovered from the Kyuubi attack, there were no shinobi wars going on, Kumo stayed far, _far_ away from her daughters and the civilians had organized the first official 'Kyuubi Festival' in order to celebrate humanity's victory over an eldritch monstrosity. Oh, and Kushina's son had his fifth birthday, but _somehow_ she, Hinoka, was not allowed to initiate some form of contact with 'the sacrifice'. So was his godfather.

 _But kicking him out of the orphanage at age four seemed to be_ completely _legal and justified within the village's laws._

Blinking as soon as she realized that her worry somehow started to replace itself with irritation thanks to drifting to whole other subjects within the span of a few minutes the matriarch of the Hyuuga clan let out a deep sigh once again. Instead, she looked after her daughters once more.

Hinata, visiting her first festival, had her Byakugan activated, most likely to take in as many colorful sighs as possible, all the while balancing a plate of cinnamon rolls with her tiny arms. From the worried expression of the guard she sits on top of, the heiress was struggling with holding her balance, but her smile and the sparkle in her eyes showed that she had tons of fun.

The pale lavender pink petal pattern in the lavender white eyes was still a strange sight though.

The elder clan council had gone ballistic when they found out about the 'deformation', as they first called it. Her poor husband had to assure - twenty-five times - that no, she was not ill and no, she IS from his blood. When an elder questioned her ability to be able to properly identify the tenketsu, the chakra points, within a person's body in the far future, Hinata surprised everyone by counting down every single chakra point while pointing on it. An impressive feat for a then three year old, but clan elders were... well, clan elders.

They wanted an explanation for the 'quite worrisome mutation'...

Then Lilia, freshly freed from the hospital and with her secondary heart beating again, had blasted herself through the wall (as usual) and, completely ignoring the elder council's ranting, gave an explanation that she may or may not had pulled out of her behind... before passing out (as usual).

 _"Well, looks like my fallout resonated with sister's fallout and tripped over some old packages along the way. Ye all 'now by now that ya got ya eye specific genetics from my kind, don't ya? Anyways, if she doesn't hammer the B-button too hard she might be able to awake something that could rival the Rinnegan. Anyways, can ya make the room stop spinnin'?"_

Hiashi had an interesting time after that... highlighted by his entire study once completely filled with walls of to-be-signed documents. Lilia later on then animating them into a replica of the Shinigami hadn't helped, either. (Someone had to supervise her and since Hiashi had the most experience with insane daughters originating from space...)

The elders faintly acknowledged that Hinata's Byakugan had started to 'evolve', as the little alien had called it, but... well, they demanded a lot without giving anything in return (as usual). Also, it was apparently highly frowned upon if a three year old 'helped out' in the kitchens.

 _Or was it... I am an idiot, of course THAT is the reason why the Main Family make their disapproval known._

The Curse Seal, or Caged Bird Seal, considering who you ask, was primarily a safety mechanism in order to protect the secrets of the Byakugan. In the days of old, every Hyuuga used to wear the seal, but , after a particular severe case of internal conflict and a lot of resulting... 'casualties', the two houses were born.

The Main-House, unsealed, guarded the secrets of the Byakugan, mediated within the clan, dealt with outer-clan-specific politics, did the sealing and provided the clan head. The Branch-House protected the Byakugan and the Hyuuga in general.

After the end of the Warring States Period, 'protect' slowly changed into 'serve' and a rather noticeable amount of Main House members became... rather comfortable with that idea.

Some abused it... and got powerful.

Then, a young girl, who managed to not get _too_ traumatized after witnessing how a lot of her family members cried in pain during the mass sealing and then being kidnapped ( _Where were the sentries again? Ah, right,_ that guy _had cold feet._ ), declared that she wants to unite the Main- and Branch Family... and abolish the Caged Bird Seal.

Overall, the entire Branch approves. The majority of the Main does not. Surprise, surprise.

That out of the way, Hinoka approved. She would have probably planned something similar and then shove the actual work onto her endearing husband.

She sighed. _And again, I got lost in my thoughts... Damn it, Lilia! Why are you singing that song all the time?_

Hinoka glanced around, slightly surprised to find herself back at the clan grounds.

She blinked. "What happened?"

One of the younger guards - Hohetu, was it? - answered her inquiry. "Hinoka-sama, there was... an attempt on your life."

The matriarch blinked again... twice, this time. "Come again?"

"An unknown individual tried to assassinate you with a thrown senbon." another guard - Sairasu? - replied, _sounding_ rather nonchalant. "I am ashamed we let out guard down. If it weren't for... the psychic prowess of lady Lilia..."

"... What happened again?"

"Someone threw a poisoned senbon at your neck, milady. However, lady Lilia - apparently - caught it... somehow. We _think_ it is telekinesis, but..."

"Someone tried to assassinate me?"

Both the young and the old guard glanced at each other. Then the younger one took charge of the conversation. "We will escort you to lord Hiashi, Hinoka-sama."

"That would be preferable, yes..."

The (slowly panicking) woman glanced around, finding a tired Hinata (who might have eaten a bit _too_ much cinnamon for once) still sitting on top of her guard (Hisame?). Her sister-in-all-but-genes was nowhere to be seen though.

"... Where is my adopted daughter?"

The old guard's face was passive, not showing any emotion. A perfect example of a Hyuuga-mask, earned through years of stoicism. "She continued to... fly off. I doubt lady Lilia actually noticed that there was an attempted assassination in the first place."

Hinoka stared at the guard. The guard stared back.

"... If something explodes, there is a high probability that lady Lilia is there... right?" the old guard asked.

"Yes..." Hinoka confirmed.

"I will escort her back, then."

* * *

Nighttime

 **PoV** : An alien who is lost in her thoughts (all alone)

 _Long icy white-blue hair, lavender white eyes, ethereal white/light-blue skin and lipstick-red lips... A detached expression... A shadow behind the figure._

 _Disgust._

 _"A failure."_

Why am I thinking about that? I don't want to think about that! That memory got banished into the depths of my mind long ago, so why is it resurfacing again?

I get it. I died and had the 'luck' to get selected for some kind of experiment... that apparently went wrong. No idea how wrong it went though. So, my soul got fused onto the one of an unborn one for a really, really stupid reason. I get that, too.

So why am I feeling hurt, confusion and indifference at the same time - at three different places - within my mind?

Maybe the dam broke... a bit. Well, the leak got patched up now... I think... so there shouldn't be that many problems now... Nah, I'm lying, there will be a lot of problems with it later on... Wait, I said the truth... _Now_ and _later on_ are two completely distinctive timeframes.

...

So, with that out of the way, where the hell am I? There wasn't enough processing power left to pay attention to anything that was going on for quite a while... And the clouds passing by underneath me aren't quite helpful, either. Well, I shouldn't have put my head into them in the first place.

Alright, let's do a Baumgartner right here... Taking position, facing the ground, enabling the theory behind the effects of gravity and _wheee_!

The thick cover of watery molecules passed by quickly and the colorful sight of a Village hidden in the Leaves during a festival greets the eyes of mine. The center of the village in particular shined in almost all the colors of the rainbow, since, well, there was the most lively spot in the supposed-to-be military village. The stand owners there probably make quite the fortune on this day- err, night.

Lights from everywhere around the streets, roofs, balconies and, well, the village in general rise into the sky and explode in a grandiose display of fireworks...

...

"Damn. My. Life."

A rocket exploded a few meters to the right of me and the sparks almost invaded my privacy... well, I _somehow_ blasted them away with an (un)controlled blast of telekinetic thingamajig while rolling to the side in order to evade another anti-aircraft-thingy, but you get my point. A third, somewhat big rocket detonated about four meters right underneath me and I had the _fun_ experience of falling right through it, just in time for a thin, flaming projectile to almost impact on my shoulder if I hadn't spun in an awkward way.

Coughing the damn gunpowder out of my mouth, a great fiery fireball of fiery fieriness made contact with my divine presence... and did jack sh... My body ate it. Consumed it like a cinnamon bun...

Well, it is good to know that princess won't be able to gut me with a Chidori if he feels like it, and I'll most likely steamroll my team through the chunin exams by simply face-tanking every ninjutsu that gets thrown at us, but...

BymyetherealpresenceIamfallingtofast!

 ***Thud***

* * *

Ground Level - Impact

"By Kaguya's romantic obsession with Cthulhu, Slime Monsters, Giratina and Ouroborus, what in the forty-seven frozen hells-"

My robe! My poor, scorched, torn, grimy robe! And my hair! My poor, tangled, dusty mess of hair!..

I'll be dragged into the baths and locked in there for DAYS! Then my hair will be assaulted by a dozen brushes, I'll be stuffed into horribly itching attire, get yelled at by everyone and anything for ruining their physical and mental torture they call 'hard work'...

"Ow..."

And I oh-so gracefully crash-landed on top of someone. Great, now I'm also getting yelled at for making someone's day miserable... A someone who hasn't adjusted to my radiating awesomeness, that is.

*Sigh*

Alright, I can at least lift my weight from the fortunate soul who took the exclusive chance to prevent my butt from touching the hard ground. I am _fairly_ sure the person survived since I slowed down my own momentum while in midair, but it doesn't hurt to assure oneself with another one's survival... So, denying the existence of gravitational forces I hover in the air, whirl around...

... and face a gaping, whisker-marked blonde boy in a white T-shirt with a red swirl on it.

I blinked. He blinked back.

Silence.

More Silence.

More anti-aircraft-rocket-explosions could be heard, but it was most-definitely silent.

"Whoa, how'da ya doin' dat? Are ya a angel or som'thin'?"

The boy broke it... and gods, the _grammer..._ Well, standard procedurte. "Nah, no human with chicken wings strapped on the back. I'm from space."

"Really? Is dat why ya've weird eyebrows?"

"Hey, I certainly didn't picked my genetics. Not that I'm complaining, my eyebrows are awesome. Not that they could be anything else since I am awesome."

"Ya're aw'some?"

"Heck yea!"

"Cool!"

"Nope, awesome. 'Cool' would imply that I have caught a cold or something and I don't want that."

"... Does it really work like that?" Wow, no grammar mistakes!

"I say it, so it works like that until it decides to not work like that."

The young child of a somewhat important prophecy seemed to concentrate very hard before, shortly, getting bored with the task. "I don't get it."

"Ya know, everything I say is right... until it isn't. Simple, right?"

"I... yea, it is... I guess." The young boy's hesitance got overrun by excitement again. "Anyways, how da ya fly like dat? Jiji can't fly like dat! Are ya stronger than Jiji? Because-"

I interrupted him. "Ya know, I don't really fly. I just disobey the laws of physics... and it works."

A blank look.

"... You know about the power that makes you fall down?"

"Som'one does dat?"

"Nah, the ground does it on its own. You know about it?"

"... I think so. Waddabout it?"

"It's part of something called 'physics'. I'm ignoring it, and it works. That's how I fly."

"Co- aw'some!" Aww, mini-Jinchuriki is cute. Especially that sparkling-eyes-thingy.

"Anyways, sorry for dropping on top of you. What's your name?"

If anyone would declare that a child's face of absolute joy and happiness couldn't be possibly outdone, this blonde would prove them all wrong. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, believe it!"

Gods, the happy face of the young fishcake makes it hard for one to not embrace him in a quick hug... And, well, I have Hinata as an adoptive sister, I am used to hugs. "You are absolutely adorable!"

By the shocked face of the ramen topping, he wasn't used to non-violent body contact. Often.

I moved away and faced a random direction. "My name is Lilia. Ootsutsuki Lilia. Nice to meet you whirlpool fishcake."

"Hey!" Aww, his pout is adorable, too.

I grinned. "Seven out of ten." I started to fly away, then paused. "Tell you what: I'm enrolling into the academy in the winter after this one. If you attend, I might introduce you to my big sister - if she isn't doing it herself."

"What? Can't you... I dunno... play ninja or somethin' with me?" No! Oh gods, no! No! Not the puppy-dog-eyes-no-jutsu!

"Sorry, big sis might break _all_ my bones with her hug if I stay away for too long. The deal is still there, though."

"Oh... well, see ya."

"Bye. Don't get run over by an angry mob."

* * *

Well, I met the protagonist, and he has not made a comment about my hair... More precisely, he has not said that it was beautiful. After all, when a male admire and praise a female's hair, children of random, somewhat important prophecies are born from them. That's how it works, right?

Anyways, Hinata claimed him, even though she doesn't know that at this point in time. I'll be dammed if I am not able to ship them both along in order to make sure that Himawari will be born. Maybe I can mobilize Ino and Sakura to help me in achieving this...

Well, I don't want them to move into the same bed before puberty is over, but bringing the most unpredictable knucklehead-ninja to _actually notice_ the (hopefully-not-)wallflower, who accepted him for who he is way before everyone else in her age group, would be a nice start..

What? I like her and I like that pairing, so Sue me.

Speaking of noticing... Sakura.

From what I saw from the written part of the chunin exams, she is damn smart. Probably prodigy-material, if she wasn't/isn't/will be that fixated on getting princess's affection and achieving the exact opposite of that.

She is alright... post time-skip. If I'm lucky (haha, as if), then I might be able to... prevent her from becoming a fan-girl (something Princess hates) and guide her onto a path that makes her a force to be reckoned with (something Princess likes and respects).

I probably just have to tell her how babies are made if she still thinks that becoming a fan-girl and then slacking off is the way to become a desensitized child soldier.

...

The guide of Kaguya is slowly corrupting me... And I think I repressed something important here.

...

Well, that being said...

How can I free myself from the baths?

Without punching a hole and (somewhat) publicly humiliating myself, that is?

* * *

 **Author Notes**

* * *

Hi there.

It took a while to write all this, but, after one hundred thousand nano seconds of throughout consideration and randomness, I think that I can wrap up the pre-academy-stuff and move on to, well, the academy.

And yes, the alien created the Rainbow Stick, the most traumatizing and traumatized entity in the universe... Until something else more traumatizing and traumatized comes along. I just wanted to show that playing with the fabrics of Space-Time shouldn't be done at a whim... Which Lilia would do anyways. But hey, progress!

Oh, and more progress.

And yes, I made Mikoto and Hinoka BFFs... I thought it would make sense that both of them might've met Kushina before. Sue me.

Yes, Hinoka survives. I am not sure if it is right (considering character growth), but... it's done in the most anticlimactic ways possible.  
I'm sorry.

And then there's Naruto. I hope that I dodn't made him ooc (out of character), but I also hope that I also didn't made a too terrible job at writing a five year old child.

Anyways, next up (possibly):

Hinata meets Naruto  
Academy enrollment  
Princess meets fan-girls  
Clan heirs (and members) meet flying calamity (again)  
Two Year old Hanabi

And maybe I add an Omake at the end, too.

Anyways, I look forward to your Reviews.

And thank you for reading my ramble.

* * *

At Guest TheGreet:

Now that you write about it... Yea, I feel kind of stupid now. ^_^

The Ootsutsuki on top of the moon seemed to have had the Byakugan, too, before they harvested them and put them all into an energy vessel... because, reasons.

I hope it is acceptable that ' _Hinata's chakra resonated with the chakra-signature of her makeshift teddy-bear_ ' is the explanation for how the little heiress triggered the awakening-process of the Tenseigan.

Thank you for reviewing.


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